Cooking in the West

This past few months I have been having heart rhythm problems. Long story short, I have to have a second ablation procedure at the Missoula Heart Institute on the very day that calving starts. Now, calving doesn’t really start on the first date that the gestation calendar says it would be biologically possible. Calving usually starts days or even a couple weeks early, so often by the “first day of calving season” there are quite a few calves on the ground--especially if a storm blows in. However, we say we start calving on March 20, which usually coincides with our traditional Equinox storm, and according to the weather forecast it sounds like this year will be no exception to that tradition.

When I announced that the doctor had scheduled my second ablation on March 20, I knew it would cause symptoms of a mild heart attack in my spouse. He did not disappoint. He said, “You know that is the first day of calving, right?”

I answered, “Yes, but apparently the doctor doesn’t know nor care.”

“You are going to have to tell your son then, because remember the last time we left home at the beginning of calving, and he absolutely banned travel during calving season, right?”

I nodded so he continued, “Are you sure you are not just trying to get out of calving duty?”

I nodded again, but then I began to wonder if such could be the case. Over the past decade, I have contracted several medical reasons for pulling light duty during calving including two knee issues, a pulled hamstring, and now heart surgery. Could those issues have been psychosomatically induced just to get me out of night checks and my calf rescue duties?

Although calving is an exciting time of bringing all those new lives into the world, it is a stressful time of trying to keep the animals and the humans alive and healthy. We calve in two locations several miles apart, which stretches our resources fairly thin. Consequently, there is a division of labor that was calculated by someone who flunked math.

Apparently there is an unwritten rule of calving that once the calf is pulled out of the cow, it becomes the responsibility of the ranch wife to keep the calf alive. Often on a ten below zero night, the hot box,the tack room, and probably even the running pickup are already full of warming calves. (With the price of diesel rising daily, there are going to be a lot more calves in bathtubs than there have been in the past.) So the ranch wife gets the calf sled and four wheeler, drags the calf to the house, and wrestles it very ungracefully into the bathtub. She makes a note to herself that as soon as calving is over, she is going to look into getting one of those walk-in tubs.

She sets to work with a whole dryer load of towels and a blow dryer and prays that God will spare this baby. If God is merciful, the calf starts coming back to life in an hour or three. This revival serves to make it a lot harder to get it back out to the barn to its mother, and it involves more praying that the cow will take its baby and show appreciation for all of the human effort that has gone into this nocturnal endeavor and not try to bunt, kick, run over, or chase the human rescuer who tries to stage a happy reunion. If the happy reunion does not work, the calf has to be fed. Most ranch wives have their own secret recipe which might include powdered colostrum, eggs, whiskey, prayers, two Five Hour Energy Drinks (one for the calf and one for the ranch wife), a drenching tube, and sometimes some swearing mixed in.

If the calf scorned by his mother survives a couple tube feedings and begins to thrive, it then has to be started on a bottle. This sounds a lot easier than it is. It requires the patience of Job and the back muscle strength of Hercules to successfully start some calves on a bottle. It also usually involves a combination of praying and swearing, which I believe is fairly unique theology mostly employed by ranch women. Hopefully the calf will drink sooner or later and not die of scours or pneumonia so a suitable adoption can be made or the calf can be sold to someone else who wishes to graft a calf or keep a bucket calf.

Since I will be sitting out the first part of calving season on the couch, I am praying for good weather and benevolent cows so my husband and my son will forgive me for bad timing on my heart procedure.

After a few days, I should be able to feed the calving crew at least. My calving season recipes are from our neighbor, Nancy Bruce. Thanks, Nancy!

Baked Huevos Rancheros

1 can (15 oz.) refried beans

1 C, chunky salsa, divided

8 eggs

4 oz. shredded Cheddar cheese

2 C. hand crushed corn tortilla chips

Fresh sprigs cilantro for garnish

Sour cream, If desired

Spray 4 individual casserole dishes. Spread about 1/4 C. of refried beans on the bottom of each. Spoon 2 T. salsa over beans. Make 2 dents in the beans with the back of a spoon. Break 2 eggs into each casserole. Top each with 1 oz. of cheese. Sprinkle about 1/2 C. tortilla chips on top of each. Put casseroles on a sturdy baking sheet. Bake in 350 degree oven for 15 minutes (soft yolk) and/or 18 minutes (hard yolk).Top each with a spoon of salsa and some cilantro. Serve with sour cream.

Tex-Mex Tortilla Chip Frittata

8 eggs

1/4 C. water

1/4 t. salt

1/4 t. black pepper

2 C. crushed corn tortilla chips

1 T. olive oil

1 bunch green onions, chopped

1/4 C. (or more) cooked bacon pieces

1/2 C. (or more) Mexican cheese blend

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Whisk eggs with salt, pepper, and water. Stir in tortilla chips and let soak for 5 minutes. Saute onions in hot olive oil for a few minutes. Spread on the bottom of a 7” X 10” Pyrex dish. Sprinkle with bacon. Carefully pour egg mixture over top of bacon. Top with cheese. Bake 12 to 14 minutes, until set in center. Serve with fresh cilantro, salsa, and sour cream.

Cheesecake Flan

1/2 C. sugar

3 T. water

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

3 eggs

1 t. vanilla

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 can (13 oz) evaporated milk

Caramelize the sugar and water. Pour into a 9-inch round pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put cream cheese, eggs, and vanilla in blender. Blend until smooth. Add condensed milk and blend again. Add evaporated milk and blend again. Pour over caramelized sugar and set pan in another pan that has about 1-inch of water in it. Bake 1 hour. Cool and invert on a serving plate. Chill.