Cooking in the West

We are at the stage in our lives where we find ourselves in the bleachers every Saturday for elementary intramural basketball, because we would never miss a game of grandson basketball. Where else can you watch your grandson celebrate an assist with a breakdance move that would have made Issei swoon? (No, I do not know who Issei is, but I do know how to type into the Google search bar, “Who is the best break dancer in the world?”) Unfortunately, we have no video of Jasper bustin’ a breakdance move on the basketball court in the middle of a rebounding frenzy by all of the kindergarteners on the court.

I remember well eight years ago when my first official duty as a sports Grandma was to attend Alex’s kindergarten basketball game. It is really hard to capture that experience in words rather than video, but I must give it a try.

Now, back when I was first hired at Big Timber Elementary in 1981, I was asked if I would help with fifth and sixth grade basketball. Of course, I agreed to try it, and I learned a lot more than the girls I coached that year. Mostly I learned about how basic basketball fundamentals have to be broken down for small hands and bodies to be successful. This was also before the era of backboards that could be lowered, so we played with regulation height baskets.

Fortunately, the Fike twins (Kim and Kari) and the Bjorndahl twins (Mitzi and Melissa) were on that first team, so we finished the season undefeated--only because those girls came into the program with great skills. I had no delusions about my pitiful contribution to the program’s success, but after several undefeated years, we suffered a loss. I decided to retire at this low point of my basketball coaching career to try my hand at motherhood and later at coaching from the sidelines as the mother of elementary and high school players.

So now a generation later. . . I went to Alex’s game fully realizing how difficult it is to teach 11 and 12 year olds the game of basketball. I could not really imagine how difficult it would be to teach the fundamentals to 5 to 7 year olds. I was to find out.

There were many challenges faced by the coaches who also served as officials for the games. Four teams composed of both kindergarteners and first graders were lined up in the high school gym to be introduced. The coaches got a real work-out just getting the pinnies wrestled on to the starting line-up, because there are four openings in a pinnie, and those four holes caused a lot of confusion. Then they had to get all of the players out on to the court as they were introduced, which is particularly hard to do when the players are alternating between being preoccupied with finding their respective water bottles and searching the gym to locate their adoring family members so they could wave and pose for Facebook photos.

The coaches finally succeeded in getting 10 tiny players circled up for the opening tip off, which went up and came down untouched for several seconds. Thus began a game that resembled a cross between keep away, full contact basketball, and kick the can. The primary function of the coaches/officials was to direct the proper colored pinnies towards the proper basket. They had handheld whistles, but it didn’t do a whole lot of good to sound the whistle, because it definitely did not stop play unless it was followed by numerous shouts and even some hands on intervention from the officials to, “Freeze, stop, stop, STOP!”

Finally the second quarter began, and Alex came off the bench to make his basketball debut. Unfortunately, he seemed to have forgotten about those dribbling, passing, and shooting drills he had suffered through twice this past week for a full hour. He seemed intent on perfecting some amazing ballet or perhaps they were interpretive dance moves, and he even performed a couple pretty impressive hand stand attempts on the court. He never once touched the ball except when he was the nearest player to the sidelines and the officials gave him the ball to toss into play.

He had a little yellow wrist band that meant he was supposed to guard the player on the other team with the matching yellow wrist band. Fortunately, he won the lottery, and he was to guard the smallest girl on the other team. It said Stinker on the back of her t-shirt, and let’s just say Stinker pretty much schooled Alex even though he had probably 15 pounds and 6 inches on her. Alex and Stinker struck several Power Ranger poses and laughingly pushed each other around a bit, but neither one of them ever grasped whether they were offensive or defensive players at any given point. In fact, I am not certain that Alex understands that the point of the game invented by James Naismith back in 1891 is to make baskets. I believe he thinks basketball is some sort of dramatic exercise performed in front of an audience which is shouting a lot of advice such as, “Go the other way,” and “Shoot!”

Five years later, Alex’s little brother, Jasper had his first kindergarten game, which meant that my belly laugh muscles had a big break between work-outs. I am thankful for that core muscle training though, because t-ball season starts as soon as basketball ends, and t-ball also offers plenty of belly laugh opportunities.

Since St. Patrick’s Day is coming up quickly, how about some recipes to help you get your Irish on?

Irish Soda Bread Muffins

3 C. flour

1 C. raising

1/2 C. white sugar

2 T. white sugar

1 T. caraway seeds

1 T. baking powder

1 t. salt

1/4 t. baking soda

1 3/4 C. buttermilk

1 egg

1/4 C. butter, melted

Mix flour, raisins, 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar, caraway seeds, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl. Whisk buttermilk and egg together in a small bowl. Stir into flour mixture. Fold butter into the batter. Spoon batter into the prepared muffin tin. Bake in the preheated 400 degree oven until a toothpick comes out clean, 20 to 30 minutes.

Crockpot Corned Beef and Cabbage

2 to 2.5 lb. corned beef brisket with seasoning packet

2 lbs. small red potatoes

1.5 C. fresh baby carrots

1 med. onion cut into 8 wedges

2 C. apple juice

8 thin wedges of cabbage

Place potatoes, carrots and onion in 5 to 6 1/2-quart slow cooker. Top with corned beef brisket; sprinkle with contents of seasoning packet. Add apple juice and enough water to just cover brisket. Cover; cook on low setting for 10 to 12 hours.

About 40 minutes before serving, remove beef from slow cooker; place on serving platter and cover to keep warm. Add cabbage wedges to vegetables and broth in slow cooker. Increase heat setting to high; cover and cook an additional 30 to 35 minutes or until cabbage is crisp-tender.

Horseradish Sauce for Corned Beef

1/2 C. sour cream

1/4 C. mayonnaise

2 T. prepared horseradish

2 t. Dijon mustard

Mix all ingredients. Slice corned beef across the grain. Serve with sauce.