Cooking in the West

“You are probably eligible for some kind of award from the Governor,” my husband commented one morning over coffee. After 41 years of marriage, I should have known better than to bite on that, but of course, I had to find out where this was going.

“For what?” I asked even though I suspected the answer was not going to be a self esteem booster.

“For being the oldest first year Home Ec teacher in the universe,” he answered smugly.

“Well, it’s not Home Ec anymore. It is FCS, and you are right I should get some kind of award but probably from a mental institution,” I replied. You see, after retiring twice from education, I have decided to return to teach in my minor, FCS, which was called Home Ec back when I took my methods courses in the subject in about 1980-1981.

When I graduated from college, I taught junior high English for 25 years before retiring to become the County Superintendent of Schools for 16 years, and then I became a dishwasher at my daughter’s boutique when my fourth term ended last January. Rather than announcing my retirement from dishwashing, I have decided to embark on a new career path...teaching culinary arts at the high school before I head down to my dishwashing job. There is definitely something wrong with my retirement plan, but only Remi has had enough courage to point it out to me.

It has been sixteen years since I had a teacher’s dream, but I suspect they will start recurring. Anyone who has taught knows the teacher’s dream themes, because they seem to be shared by every teacher in the field. One common dream is that you show up to school in your pajamas. Another is that you drive around and around and cannot find the school. Another is that you are happily enjoying your day when you remember you forgot to call in to get a sub. There are variations of those dreams, but those seem to be the primary themes in my research on shared teacher dream experiences.

As an older teacher, I do have several advantages. I will not be too concerned about teacher evaluations, because I have pensions to fall back on. If this gig doesn’t work out, I know I won’t starve. Sadly, most younger teachers don’t have to worry much about evaluations either, because they can always go to work at McDonald’s and make as much or more as they do as a teaching professional, and we wonder why no one is going into education?

As an older teacher, I get special parking privileges. I get to park right outside my classroom door. This is wonderful, since I will need to save all my energy just to get through the day without a nap. Fortunately, I am only teaching morning classes, so nap time will be unaffected.

As an older teacher, I will be able to impart a veritable lifetime of wisdom to my students and fellow teachers, which is something I am sure they will truly appreciate--about as much as stepping on a nail. Afterall, when I began teaching, we ran off copies on the old purple mimeograph machine, and everyone who went to school prior to 1985 can probably remember how those slightly damp pages smelled. Google tells me that the fragrance of mimeographed copies came from the duplicator fluid that had methanol and isopropanol in it. The reason that memories of that paper come back easily is because events with strong odors associated with them travel to the brain to get processed in the same area as memories and emotions. Fortunately, the mimeograph usually has pleasant feelings of excitement associated with it. So...not only do I remember things like that, but I also have the power of artificial intelligence at my fingertips. I don’t think encyclopedias exist anymore, but who needs them when you have an ancient teacher among the ranks?

I am sure I will have lots of adventures as I re-enter the classroom. What can go wrong teaching a class where the students get to use knives, torches, and boiling hot water and vegetable oil? I am so grateful that no one asked me to teach any sewing classes, because even though my methods classes were 43 years ago, I never mastered sewing--only seam ripping. I am dead serious about this request--pray for me!

My recipes this week are quick and easy, because I am on a quest to find culinary masterpieces that can be adapted to a 50 minute class period. If you have such recipes, please share them with me at [email protected]. Thanks!

Frozen Fruit Salad:

8 oz.pkg. cream cheese, room temperature

8 oz. tub frozen whipped topping, thawed

2 (15-ounce) cans fruit cocktail in juice, drained

1/2 C. maraschino cherries, drained and cut in half

2 C. mini marshmallows

Spray a 9x13-inch dish with nonstick spray. In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese on medium-high speed until smooth and fluffy. Fold in the whipped topping. Add the fruit cocktail, the cherries, and the mini marshmallows and fold until completely incorporated and coated. Press the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Cover the dish with plastic wrap and place it in the freezer until frozen, at least 2 hours. Transfer the dish from the freezer about 10-15 minutes before you plan to serve.

One Bowl Chocolate Cake:

1 1/2 C. flour

1 C. sugar

1/4 C. baking cocoa

1 t. baking soda

1/2 t. baking powder

1/4 t. salt

1/2 C. vegetable oil

1//2 C. buttermilk

1 egg

1/2 C. hot water

In a large bowl, combine dry ingredients. Stir in oil, buttermilk, and eggs. Add water and stir until combined. Pour into a greased and floured 9 inch round or square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool and frost with Buttercream Frosting below.

Buttercream Frosting:

3 T. softened butter

2 C. powdered sugar

2 T. milk

3/4 t. vanilla

dash salt

(Add 3 T. cocoa if you want chocolate frosting)

Cream butter, and gradually add about half the sugar, blending well. Beat in milk and vanilla. Blend in remaining sugar and cocoa if desired. Add extra milk if needed for desired spreading consistency. Frost cooled 9 inch cake.