Cooking in the West

Memorial Day, which originated as Decoration Day, originally honored only those lost while fighting in the Civil War. During World War I, the holiday evolved to commemorate American military personnel who died in all wars and expanded into a day of remembrance for loved ones and fallen soldiers. In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which established Memorial Day as the last Monday in May in order to create a three-day weekend for federal employees. The change went into effect in 1971. The same law also declared Memorial Day a federal holiday.

Some people wear a red poppy in remembrance of those fallen in war. Many people take weekend trips or throw parties and barbecues on the holiday, perhaps because Memorial Day weekend unofficially marks the beginning of summer.

Though I take remembering fallen soldiers and loved ones very seriously and make an annual pilgrimage to their graves to honor them, I must admit that especially as I grow older, those visits to cemeteries and memorial services remind me of my own mortality.

After I pulled my hamstring this spring, I received a lot of free medical advice. Some was serious and helpful and other advice not so serious but also helpful, as laughter is the best medicine. So my bullet point for Memorial Day is to honor lives of others seriously but not to take everyday life too seriously. On that note, I offer you some medical advice for longevity (or not?) in this “Interview with Doctor Feelbetter” (source unknown).

Question: Doctor, is it true that cardiovascular exercise will prolong my life?

Doctor: The heart is only good for so many beats, and that is it. Don’t waste them on sweaty exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; that would be like extending the life of a car by driving it faster. If you want to live longer, take naps!

Question: Doctor, should I eliminate alcohol?

Doctor: Absolutely not! Wine is made from fruit. Beer is made from grain. Brandy is distilled wine, which means they take the water out and leave more of the fruity stuff, so you get even more nutritional goodness that way...bottoms up!

Question: How can I calculate my body fat ratio?

Doctor: Well, the simplest way is this: you have a body and you have fat, so that is a ratio of one to one.

Question: What are the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

Doctor: Sorry, I can’t think of one. My philosophy is, “No pain—good!”

Question: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

Doctor: You are misguided. Food is fried in vegetable oil. How can getting more vegetables be bad?

Question: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting soft around the middle?

Doctor: Oh no. When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. Do sit-ups only if you want a bigger middle!

Question: Is chocolate bad for me?

Doctor: HELLO, cocoa beans...another vegetable. It is the best feel good medicine on the shelf!

Question: Is swimming good for your figure?

Doctor: Explain whale to me! I advise you to avoid swimming.

Question: Is getting into shape important to longevity?

Doctor: Well, technically, round is a shape!

For those of you that still aren’t convinced after reading this interview with Dr. Feelbetter, here is some conclusive research: The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. Italians drink lots of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Germans drink beer and eat sausage and lots of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. What can we possibly conclude from this data? Eat and drink whatever you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

I wish all of you a blessed Memorial Day. Take time to remember your loved ones who have passed and those in the military who gave all for our freedom. Freedom is not free!

My featured cook this week is Holly Brady of Ekalaka, Montana who sent these Dr. Feelbetter approved recipes years back. She wrote, “I’ve been wanting to share this Turtle recipe with you for years because it has all the desired recipe criteria...quick, easy, and delicious. I have been there on some of those cow/heifer/calf escapades, but the one I remember most was when you wrote about ‘going where no Ford Taurus has gone before...’”

Thanks, Holly! These have become treasured recipes!

Turtles:

(Makes 48 squares)

Crust:

2 C. flour

1 C. brown sugar

1/2 C. butter at room temperature

Caramel:

1 C. butter

1 1/2 C. brown sugar

3 T. corn syrup

2 C. chopped pecans

12 oz. chocolate chips

Mix crust ingredients in a mixer bowl at medium speed until it forms fine particles. Pat dough into a 9 X 13 pan. In a saucepan, mix butter, syrup, and brown sugar. Bring to a boil and boil for one minute, stirring constantly. Sprinkle nuts over the crust. Pour caramel over all. Bake for 18 to 22 minutes at 350 degrees, until the surface bubbles. Immediately after removing the pan from the oven, pour chips evenly over all. Let stand briefly to melt. Then spread chocolate with spatula. Cool and cut into squares.

Fudge-Scotch Squares:

1 1/2 C. graham crumbs

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 C. butterscotch chips

1 C. chocolate chips

1 C. nuts

Mix all ingredients and put in a well greased 9 inch square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes. Cut into squares.

Chocolate Chip Cake:

1 chocolate cake mix

3 oz. instant chocolate pudding mix

1 C. sour cream

1/2 C. oil

1/2 C. water

4 eggs

1 C. walnuts, chopped

1 1/2 C. chocolate chips

Mix the first 7 ingredients and beat for 5 minutes. Add nuts and chips. Stir. Grease and flour angel or bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.