Cooking in the West

My mother had an old medical reference book that we called “The Doctor Book.” Any time we or anyone in the neighborhood for that matter were ailing, she would get it out and disseminate remedies. I think I have become my mother--except that I have discovered WebMD.

Using WebMD is much easier than looking things up in the doctor book. With just a couple clicks, you can find all the maladies alphabetized. They also have a wealth of information on everything from whitening your teeth to the benefits of doodling to improve your memory. I am sure it is all very scientific information, because it is on WebMD! I often use WebMD to give medical advice to my family and friends, but they aren’t incredibly receptive.

My mother had the same problem. In fact, once she tried to convince her mother-in-law, my Grandma Roberts, that coffee was bad for her health. It was back in the 70’s when new studies showed that coffee was VERY bad for you. It so happened that Robert Young, the actor who played Marcus Welby, M.D. on television, also did a coffee commercial. Now, my Grandma Roberts was from Missouri, and she had been a school teacher for decades. My mother was half German. Needless to say they agreed to disagree quite frequently and quite loudly.

Grandma would not be convinced of the evils of coffee--especially since Dr. Welby was on the coffee commercial, and he was a doctor! No amount of arguing about the credibility of an actor playing a doctor and citing references from highly touted medical journals such as “The National Enquirer” ever convinced Grandma otherwise! Therefore, at our house we drank Postum or Ovaltine. We had to go to Grandma’s for coffee.

Anyway, on WebMD, I found out that I have a lot of medical problems. For one thing, I found out that my salt and pepper hair is the result of a chemical chain reaction that causes hair to bleach itself from the inside out. Apparently I had a dip in the levels of an enzyme called catalase. That catalase shortfall meant that the hydrogen peroxide that naturally occurs in hair can’t be broken down. So hydrogen peroxide built up in my hair, and because other enzymes that would repair hydrogen peroxide’s damage are also in short supply, the hair went gray.

And to think I had no idea my catalase levels had dipped! You would think they could find that out in a blood or urine test. All this time, I thought my children had given me gray hair, and now when it is much too late to reverse the enzyme process I find that all along I had a catalase imbalance.

For years, when people have said, “How are you?” I should not have been responding that I was fine.

I should have been saying, “I am suffering from a catalase imbalance. Thanks for asking. I really appreciate your support at a time like this.”

Web MD is a great place for hypochondriacs to browse for their most current malady. There is a graphic that allows me to click on male or female and then click on the body part bothering me. It is called the “Symptom Checker.” From the list of symptoms, I can generate a plethora of diseases and afflictions that I could possibly be suffering. It is a veritable hypochondriacal buffet! I can choose my infection, syndrome, or impairment from a drop-down menu of possible conditions.

One of the most interesting things on WebMD was a power point on how fingernails indicate health status. I found some very disturbing things when I conducted my nail profile. I am not sure after watching the slide show whether I have anemia, congestive heart failure, hepatitis, or psoriasis. Maybe I have a combination of all of them?

Long story—short. If my column is missing next week, it is because I am suffering from a self diagnosed sleep disorder. I have developed chronic insomnia, because I fear I have symptoms of every decrepitude listed on WebMD!

I suppose this column demands some healthy recipes. The first is my favorite health bread recipe from my late Aunt Betty Holliday. Her mother was my Grandma Viola Roberts mentioned above. The sugar-free recipes are from Ann Bitz. a former teaching colleague of mine, who now ranches near Big Sandy, Montana with her husband Larry. The spinach salad recipe is from my friend and teaching colleague, Judy Vidack! Thanks, Ann and Judy!

Aunt Betty Holliday’s Health Bread:

Soften 1 pkg. yeast in 1/2 C. warm water

Add:

2 C. water or milk or potato water

2 C. flour

Let rise overnight. Mix:

1/2 C. brown sugar

1/2 C. dark molasses

1/2 C. shortening, melted

1 C. raisins

Add mixture to the sponge and then stir in:

1 t. salt

2 C. whole wheat flour

4 C. white flour

Mix well, knead, and let rise twice as for any bread. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes. Makes 2 loaves.

Ann Bitz’s Sugarless Pina Colada Salad:

1 large box sugar-free instant vanilla or coconut cream pudding

two 20 oz. pineapple tidbits packed in their own juice, drained

2 C. coconut

1/2 C. walnuts

Make pudding according to directions and let it set. After it is set, add the remaining ingredients and enjoy. (Check the coconut--use coconut that doesn’t have lots of added sugar.)

Judy Vidack’s Spinach Salad:

l lb. fresh spinach

1 can water chestnuts, drained

1 can bean sprouts, drained

1/2 lb. fresh mushrooms, sliced

8 slices bacon, fried crisp and crumbled

salt and pepper to taste

Dressing:

1/4 C. vinegar

1/4 C. ketchup

1/4 C. vegetable oil or olive oil

1/4 C. sugar

1/2 t. Worcestershire sauce

1 t. salt

1/2 small onion, diced

Toss salad ingredients. Put dressing ingredients in a quart jar and shake. Dress just before serving. (I like to add strawberries and slivered almonds to the salad and poppy seeds to the dressing also!)