Cooking in the West

Now that Saint Patrick’s Day is over, my Easter decorations are calling me from the closet, but I am trying to ignore their call. It doesn’t seem worth it to drag out all of those tubs of decorations if they are only going up for a couple weeks, so I guess I should answer the call to optimize the decor time. Instead, I find myself checking out Pinterest for decorating ideas. I absolutely love Pinterest, because I can spend hours pinning and admiring thousands of cutesy ideas and avoid getting out the ladder and tubs and getting to work. If I spend enough time pinning on Pinterest, I can put off decorating until tomorrow.

I think it would be helpful if someone invented Pinterest for Lazy People. For example, instead of a Pin that requires the effort of blowing up balloons, encasing them with starched colored string, letting them dry before popping the balloons, and then inserting colored lights into the string cocoons to make an amazing homemade Easter egg light string, perhaps we could just hang wads of colored lights up here and there. My lights all come out of the tub in a mangled maze of lights and electrical cord that would defy Houdini himself. Rather than spending 20 minutes untangling them, why not set a trend and just hang the wad from a conspicuous spot and pretend that it is the latest decorating craze? Maybe I could artfully drape some Easter grass from it also, because it is so fun to vacuum up Easter grass for months anyway.

I don’t know how to post on Pinterest, but I do have some other ideas for lazy people inspired by my perusal of Pinterest and real life experiences. Several years ago, I hit upon an ingenious idea for gift giving. I had gone to Hobby Lobby and purchased a latch hook kit that would result in a beautiful horse head latch hook rug for my mother-in-law. Needless to say, the kit sat on my dresser for several months until it was really too late to think about getting it done in time for Christmas. As I contemplated slitting the box open and working around the clock on it for a couple days, inspiration hit me. Why not just wrap the kit and give it to my mother-in-law to inspire her to take up a new hobby? Presently her hobbies are cleaning and cooking. I would like to report that she loved the idea and could not wait to begin her latch hook hobby--except that I know for a fact that it is still sitting in her closet almost six years later. In fact, her new non-hobby has become the family joke, so maybe I will get her another hobby kit for Easter this year--perhaps a cross stitch or needlepoint kit that may or may not have been sitting in my craft drawer since 1985? BTW if you did not know that Easter was a gift giving holiday, you do not know my mother-in-law who has given us Easter gifts every year since I met her in 1981, and to that I say, “Why not?” and “Thank you!”

Holiday baking is overrated also. Every holiday season, I have grand plans to make a tray of cookies and candy for all the neighbors. Instead, I have a pantry full of cookie trays, candied fruit, maraschino cherries, coconut, walnuts, and chocolate chips that range from one to seven years in age. I have studied those cookie in a jar mix recipes and decided that is the answer to my pantry dilemma. I will drag out some Mason jars, layer them with ingredients of questionable age and freshness, decorate them with fabric and bows and maybe use that glass etching kit that I have had for ten years to monogram brands and initials on the jars, type up the baking directions, and distribute them around the neighborhood. It probably won’t matter if the ingredients won’t pass the freshness test, because I have a top shelf in my cupboard dedicated to jars of cookies in a jar, brownies in a jar, and soup in a jar, that I have been gifted and never used, so I assume that most of our neighbors will shelve my cookies in a jar for at least a couple years before they get around to making them anyway, and by then they can’t question the freshness of my ingredients, unless they have read this column of course.

Cleaning the house for holiday guests is another time-consuming project--especially for Easter which falls during calving season when the house is full of mud and other mud-like consistency animal by-products. I have a fabulous idea that will help with that chore. You know how at conventions the tables are always draped with linen to the floor to hide all of the boxes and materials stashed under the tables? Why not use holiday themed wrapping paper to do the same thing in your home? Under every end table and coffee table, you could stash all the junk you can’t cram into your closets, and artfully drape decorative paper over the table. Add a large bow to make the tables resemble a giant package. Maybe add a little note that says, “No peeking!” on each “package” so no one is tempted to look under the paper and discover your house cleaning hack. (BTW [By The Way] “hack” is a Pinterest term for tip.)

I would share more Pinterest for Lazy People hacks, but it requires too much effort to think of them. I guess I will just pull out the tubs and start decorating the traditional way--maybe tomorrow??

I would share cookies in a jar recipes, but I think my neighbors are probably on to me after this column. How about some recipes from Eleanor Pratt of Billings, Montana. Thanks, Eleanor!

Chinese Beef Casserole:

8 oz. fine noodles, cooked and drained

1 lb. ground beef, cooked and drained

1 small onion, chopped, sauteed in butter

Mix together:

1 can cream of chicken soup

4 oz. jar mushrooms, drained

1 C. milk

1/4 C. soy sauce

1 T. Worcestershire sauce

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. pepper

Place cooked noodles in a 9 X 13 buttered pan. Add beef and onions to the soup mixture and pour on top of noodles. Top with 8 oz. shredded cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Add 4 oz. Chow Mein noodles and 4 oz. mixed nuts (optional) and return to the oven for five minutes.

Spicy Chicken Spaghetti:

12 oz. spaghetti, uncooked

4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cut into strips

16 oz. Velveeta, cubed

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 can diced tomatoes and green chilies, undrained

4 1/2 oz. can sliced mushrooms, drained

1/3 C. milk

Cook pasta as directed. Drain. Return to the pan. Meanwhile, stir fry chicken in a PAM sprayed skillet for about 5 minutes. Add remaining ingredients to chicken in the skillet and stir on low heat until cheese melts and ingredients are heated through. Add chicken mixture to drained pasta and spoon into 9 X 13 baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.

Baked Taco Salad:

1 1/2 lbs. ground beef

1 onion, chopped

1 1/2 pkg. taco seasoning

1 t. garlic powder

15 oz. can tomato sauce

1 1/2 C. sour cream

1 1/2 C. cottage cheese

3 C. crushed tortilla chips

3 C. shredded Cheddar cheese

Brown ground beef and drain. Add onion, garlic powder, taco seasoning, and tomato sauce. Set aside. Combine sour cream and cottage cheese and set aside. Place half the crushed chips in a greased 9 X 13 pan. Add enough meat to cover chips. Cover meat with half the sour cream mixture. Sprinkle half the cheese. Repeat layers and bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until cheese is melted and mixture is heated through. (Serve with shredded lettuce, black olives, sliced tomatoes, and maybe a dollop of sour cream and guacamole!)