Cooking in the West

During this last month before calving begins, we are enjoying normal dinner hours and having an actual bedtime as we count down the days until calving starts and that all changes. I love calving season now, because I am pretty much a second string player in the calving barn. Since we have an adult son as a partner on the ranch, I don’t often get called out in the middle of the night or during a blizzard--unless for some reason they are really hard up for help or really tired. Primarily my function has become providing food, coffee, and moral support, and I am good with that. Mostly I get to ride through the cows and marvel at the wonder of birth and be thankful that we were smart enough to have a son who wants to ranch.

It wasn’t always like this. Back before Bret was old enough to be great help, calving season was exhausting. I had a full-time job in town and a part-time ranch hand job, and that didn’t leave much time for relaxation. I am very spoiled now, but I remember those days well. In fact, I dusted off this story to remind myself how it used to be and underscore how good I have it now.

One snowy ten below evening in March many years ago, Remi met me at the top of our lane. I had just spent an enjoyable fulfilling day teaching junior high English, so I was delighted when Remi pulled up and said, “Jump in! That big yellow Number 13 calved way up in a coulee, and she won’t lick the calf. We’re going to have to get them in.”

We sent the kids home to do their homework, which would translate into a junk food fest in front of the television. Still in my school clothes, I jumped in the less than immaculate truck.

I knew Number 13 from previous experience. She was a five year old purebred Simmental cow that weighed at least 1700 pounds. She was as tall as a saddle horse, and her calves usually averaged about 130 pounds, so Remi had come prepared with a little green plastic sled on a long, long rope. We had to leave the truck and walk about 200 yards up a brushy coulee.

As we came into her sight, Number 13 began pawing the snow in a gesture of thankfulness that help had finally arrived.Remi, showing the incredible intelligence of a man who has been sleep deprived for weeks, marched right up, threw down the sled, and reached for the calf. Being a teacher, I was smart enough to find a chubby clump of chokecherries to cower behind and safely watch the action unfold. I was not to be disappointed.

The instant Remi touched the calf, Number 13 made an unladylike bellow/snort and lunged at him. She knocked him flat on his coverall pockets into some chokecherry bushes. About that time, I questioned the safety of my chokecherry clump. Some p.e. teacher had taught Remi the crab walk back in grade school. He crab walked backwards up the hill through a foot of snow so fast it would have brought tears to that teacher’s eyes. Of course, Number 13 was urging him on with her nose in his chest. When she quit and turned back to the calf, Remi sat there in the snow catching his breath .Not realizing he should conserve his breath, he spied me and shouted, “You’re going to have to do something.”

To this, I retorted, “I am. I’m hiding behind these chokecherries!” Actually I had been trying to remember if I had sent the life insurance premium in this month. However, I am sure that all accidental deaths of spouses during calving season are seriously scrutinized by the insurance company. The word “chokecherry” gave Remi sudden inspiration. He snapped off an eight foot chokecherry branch and outlined Plan B. Armed with the chokecherry branch, he would distract Number 13. Armed with nothing, I would sneak over and throw the calf on the sled. To our amazement, this actually worked!

Unfortunately, it is impossible to keep a huge slippery calf on a plastic sled when you don’t have the time nor the courage to tie it on. Plan B had to be repeated several times in the slide to the truck. As we approached the truck, I called back, “I’m not throwing that calf in the truck. She’ll kill me!”

This is a family newspaper, so Remi’s response must be edited out. When we reached the truck, I thoughtfully jumped in to warm it up. Also, by now, it was dark, so I knew Remi would need lights to see by. He threw the calf in the back. Number 13 tossed Remi in on top of the calf, and we took off for the barn. Number 13 can easily run in third gear.

Driving to the barn, I had time to reflect. Reflection #1: Where are those animal rights protectionists when you could use one of them? Reflection #2: That cow must have deeply rooted emotional problems or severe post partum depression. Reflection #3: Tomorrow is sale day at PAYS!

This column begs for ground beef recipes. Here are a few easy, delicious ground beef recipes. In last week’s column, I ran Kathy Norskog’s mother’s recipe for Spanish Rolls, and in error I listed black olives, but it should be green olives instead. I apologize for the confusion!

Easy Taco Shepherd’s Pie:

1-1/2 pounds ground beef

1 medium onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/2 C. water

1 envelope taco seasoning

2 C. shredded Cheddar cheese, divided

3 C. leftover mashed potatoes, warmed

Preheat broiler. In a large ovenproof skillet, cook beef, onion and garlic over medium heat until beef is no longer pink, breaking up beef into crumbles; drain. Stir in water and taco seasoning; heat through. Stir in 1 cup cheese. Remove from heat. In a bowl, mix mashed potatoes and remaining cheese; spread over beef mixture. Broil 4-6 in. from heat 5-6 minutes or until top is golden brown.

Beef Bombs:

1 lbs. ground beef

1/2 C. coarsely chopped onion

1/2 C. coarsely chopped green pepper

1 T. Montreal steak grill seasoning

1 1/2 C. shredded Monterey Jack cheese

1 can refrigerated Pillsbury Grands Flaky Layers Buttermilk Biscuits

Heat oven to 350°F. Line large cookie sheet with cooking parchment paper, or spray with cooking spray. In a10-inch skillet, cook beef, onion, bell pepper, and seasoning over medium-high heat 5 to 7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until beef is brown; drain. Remove from heat. Stir in 1 cup of the cheese until cheese is melted.

Separate dough into 8 biscuits; let stand 5 minutes. Gently pull each biscuit apart, leaving bottom and lower sides intact, forming a deep pocket. Holding opened biscuit in hand, place about 1/4 cup beef mixture inside, pressing inside to fit. Gently stretch dough over filling, pressing and firmly sealing around edges of biscuit. Reshape into round, and place on cookie sheet. (Biscuits will be full.) Repeat for remaining biscuits. Bake 18 to 20 minutes or until biscuit tops are golden brown. Remove from oven; sprinkle tops with remaining cheese. Return to oven 2 to 3 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Easy Beef Stroganoff:

16 oz. package egg noodles

2 T. butter

1 lbs. ground beef

1 onion, chopped

1 T. all-purpose flour

4.5 oz. can sliced mushrooms, drained

1 T. garlic salt

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 C. sour cream

Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook egg noodles in the boiling water, stirring occasionally until cooked through but firm to the bite, about 5 minutes; drain. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Saute onion in hot butter until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add ground beef to skillet in small chunks; cook and stir to break the beef into smaller pieces as it cooks until no longer pink, 5 to 7 minutes. Sprinkle flour over the beef mixture, stir, and cook for 1 minute. Stir mushrooms and garlic salt into the beef mixture. Pour mushroom soup and chicken soup over beef, stir, and cook until hot, about 5 minutes; add sour cream, stir until smooth, and cook until again hot, 2 to 3 minutes more. Pour beef mixture over the cooked egg noodles.