Cooking in the West

This past weekend, I attended a natural cheese making workshop presented by Allison Cooley Agee, and the take-away for me is that cheese making is extremely labor intensive. There are so many steps and so many pitfalls to avoid that my cheeses would have to sell for at least $20.00 per pound to make it a profitable venture. I applaud people like Allison who make amazing raw milk cheeses, but since I am basically lazy, I think I will just stick to buying cheese instead of making it.

The experience did remind me of an old story about making cheese. Over the years, readers have sent me hundreds of anecdotes, so I try to share a few of those from my collection every once in a while. Forgive me if some of them are pretty cheesy, but that is the theme of this column!

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. When they stopped at a cheese farm, the young guide led them through the process of making cheese from goat's milk. She showed them a hillside where many goats were grazing peacefully. She explained that those old nanny goats were no longer produced so they were put out to pasture. Then she asked, "What do you do with your old goats in America?"

One voice from the back of the bus answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

While attending a marriage seminar on the topic of communication, Bob and his wife Barbara listened intently to the instructor. He was explaining that it is imperative that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. The instructor asked Bob, "Can you tell me your wife's favorite flower?"

Bob thought for a second, cleared his throat, and said, "I think it's Pillsbury, right, honey?"

Bob and Barbara left the aforementioned marriage seminar shortly after that. They drove along for several miles in silence. Soon they came to a barnyard full of mules, goats, and pigs. Bob broke the silence sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," Barbara replied, "my in-laws!"

Next, Bob commented that he had read an article that said that women use about 30,000 words each day as compared to 15,000 words used by men each day. When he relayed this fact to Barbara, she thought for a minute and said, "Well, that would make perfect sense, because women have to repeat everything we say to men--don't you agree?"

Bob looked her in the eye and asked, "What?"

The next morning, they had an argument over who should brew the coffee. Finally, Barbara hit upon an irrefutable argument, "It says in the Bible that men should do the coffee."

"What a bunch of malarkey," Bob challenged. "Show me where it says that!"

Sue got out her Bible, opened it up and sure enough at the top of many gold-edged pages it read in bold capital letters, "HEBREWS."

One Sunday, the preacher was waxing eloquently during the closing of his sermon. With his arms extended, his face upturned, and his eyes closed, he slowly enunciated each word, " Without...you...we...are...but...dust." The congregation sat silently until a tiny little voice asked, "Mommy, what is butt dust?"

Super Bowl parties are looming on the horizon, so I would like to share some ideas for snacks from the "Cooking With Love and Memories Cookbook" published by the St. Joseph's Catholic Church of Big Timber, Montana. Thanks, Mary, Jeanna, and Linda!

Mary Gregorich's Sweet and Sour Chicken Wings:

2 pkg. chicken wings

garlic salt

Accent

cornstarch

1 beaten egg

Sauce:

1 C. sugar

1/2 C. Japanese rice vinegar

1/4 C. chicken broth

4 T. ketchup

salt to taste

Sprinkle chicken wings with garlic salt and Accent and let stand for one hour. Roll wings in cornstarch and then beaten egg. Fry until golden brown. Place wings in a shallow pan on their sides. Mix sauce ingredients together and pour over top. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 1/2 hours.

Jeanna Leary's Tortilla Pinwheels:

8 oz. cream cheese

8 oz. sour cream

3 green onions, finely chopped

2 T. black olives, finely chopped

4 oz. green chilies, finely chopped

1/2 C. Cheddar cheese, shredded

10 to 12 large flour tortillas

Blend all ingredients except tortillas until spreadable. Spread on tortillas and roll up. Roll tortillas in damp paper towels and refrigerate in Ziploc bags. Cut into bite-sized pieces when ready to serve and serve with picante sauce.

Linda Johnson's Dips:

Clam Dip:

8 oz. cream cheese

1 can minced clams, drained

1 t. Worcestershire sauce

1/2 t. onion powder

Mix cream cheese and clams with a little of the clam juice. Add Worcestershire sauce and onion powder. Serve with veggies.

Caramel Dip:

8 oz. cream cheese

1/2 C. commercial caramel sauce

Mix well until smooth. Serve at room temperature with sliced apples or other fruit.