Cooking in the West

I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas filled with feasting as part of the celebration. Even though intermittent fasting and the Mediterranean Diet seem to be the rage in diets right now, I hope you will enjoy this little Christmas rhyme I wrote about the Keto Diet. As a special Christmas treat this year, my recipes are contributions from the “Western Ag Reporter” (WAR) staff as they join me in wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas!

Special Bulletin From Santa

—by Susan Metcalf

'Twas the month before Christmas, and Santa was in a snit.

He had tried on his big red suit, and it absolutely did not fit.

His bowl full of jelly physique made it hard to hoist his pack.

His cholesterol and blood pressure ranged near "heart attack."

Worse yet, kids no longer ask for skates or tinker toys.

It's computers and gaming consoles for girls and boys.

Have you ever tried lugging a bag of computers down a chimney?

It's exhausting and gives a fat man a massive stroke by jiminy!

It used to take just a blink of an eye to deliver toys in a town complex,

But subdivisions are a genuine twenty-first century pain in Santa's neck!

When he has to start the reindeer up every twenty plus acres,

It makes him reconsider careers such as butchers and bakers.

A steady diet of cookies and milk and a quart of creamy eggnog

Could no longer be metabolized even with a daily North Pole jog.

Mrs. Claus, fearing a life insurance claim, suggested the Keto Diet.

Santa checked in the mirror (twice) and sighed, "O.K., Dear, I'll try it!"

So Santa Claus began to eat beef and eggs and cream--

The grub was so great; deprivation it did not even seem.

He ate pork rinds and prime rib and shrimp and cheese.

As long as he avoided carbs, he could eat as he pleased.

Santa lost fifty pounds, and he had never ever felt better.

Lost so much insulation, Mrs. Claus knitted him a sweater.

Now the sleigh is ultra-light, because Santa is so trim and fit.

His marathon delivery will take half the time to accomplish it.

However, Santa has asked me to get the word out this year. . .

Or else there will be a lot of disappointed children I fear.

Kids, skip the milk and cookies with carbohydrates packed in every bite.

Set out meat and cheese! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

These special holiday recipes were provided by members of the “Western Ag Reporter” staff to wish all of you a blessed Christmas. Thanks, Nadine Bittner, Nikki Ostrum, and Editor Terra Ochsner for sharing these!

Courtesy of WAR’s Nadine Bittner

Peanut-Buttered Popcorn

(from Lucile Wiest):

Note: Try using dry roasted peanuts, cashew nuts, or mixed nuts in place of almonds.

3 quarts popped corn (1/2 C unpopped)

1 1/2 C. unblanched whole almonds

1 C. sugar

1/2 C. honey

1/2 C. light corn syrup

1 C. creamy peanut butter

1 t. Vanilla

In a large roasting pan combine popcorn and almonds; keep warm in a 250 degree oven. Butter sides of a heavy 1 1/4 quart saucepan; combine sugar, honey, and corn syrup in the pan. Bring mixture to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil hard for 2 minutes; remove from heat. Stir in peanut butter and vanilla. Immediately pour over the popcorn mixture, stirring to coat well. Cool. Break into bite-sized pieces. Makes 3 quarts.

Rice Broccoli Casserole

From WAR’s Nikki Ostrum:

1/2 stick butter

5 C. broccoli

1/3 C. milk

1 can Cream of Chicken Soup

8 ounces Cheddar cheese

3 C. instant white rice

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Cook rice on the stovetop. Stir broccoli in skillet, cook till tender, then add milk, soup, cheese, and rice. Stir till melted. Bake for 30 minutes.

Kay’s Crispy Yeast Rolls

From WAR’s Terra Ochsner:

1/2 C. lukewarm water

2 packages active dry yeast

1/3 C. shortening, melted, cooled

1 C. cold water

2 eggs, well beaten

1/2 C. sugar

2 t. salt

4 1/3 C. flour, sifted

Dissolve the yeast in warm water (add a pinch of sugar to get things started). Melt the shortening and let it cool. Once the yeast has started to bubble, combine with salt, sugar, shortening, and cold water. Stir the mixture (it won’t be smooth because of the shortening). Add eggs and 2 C of the flour. Stir until smooth. Add another C of flour until mixed. Add flour in 1/3 C. increments as you knead until it is still soft but easy to handle. Knead for just a few minutes. Cover and let rise in a warm place (2 hours or until doubled). Knead again, cover, and let rise in a cool place overnight. Punch down in the morning, shape into rolls, and place on a greased pan. Cover and let rise for about 45 minutes. Bake at 425 degrees for 10 minutes (or 12 minutes if you like more brown tops). Butter tops when you remove them from the oven. Note: I usually make a double batch for the holidays because they go fast, and are wonderfully reheated and eaten in the days after!