Cooking in the West

Since I am about to retire from my County Superintendent of Schools position at the end of December, I am constantly receiving job offers from people who are concerned that I am going to be bored at home eating bon bons and watching daytime television. I think I will indulge in those activities for the first two days, and then I will start on a lot of projects that have been waiting for me for forty plus years. My colleagues in education feel strongly that I will miss my job and should sign up to substitute teach. I am pretty sure I don't want to do that, because I learned long ago from my daughter how difficult subbing can be--even in kindergarten.

My daughter Brooke graduated from MSU Bozeman in May and did not have to start her job as a marketing coordinator for HDR Engineering in Billings for several weeks. In the meantime, I felt sure she would want to pick up some extra money as a substitute teacher at BTGS. The following is Brooke's account of her experience as a kindergarten sub that validated her decision to graduate in business instead of education.

As I entered the classroom, Mrs. Gano thanked me for coming and informed me that her class had been a bit rambunctious lately as it was nearing the end of the year. "I hope they'll be good for you," she said, "but if you have any problems, look in the substitute folder for disciplinary ideas."

I assured her that we would be just fine. As the children entered the classroom, it had become increasingly difficult for us to discuss the day's agenda above the extraordinary amount of noise coming from a group of tiny people. I watched as Amy counted down from ten. When she reached one, they were all silently sitting in their chairs. She said, "Good luck!", and my morning of terror began.

After introducing myself, I asked them to sit in the story circle. By the end of the story, I was shouting the words over their individual conversations and counting down from ten after every other page. Story time went so well that I split them into groups to complete four different worksheets. By the way, five year olds do not understand the concept of splitting into groups!

By now I had tried every tip in the substitute folder. Even the "Show me Leo", which meant they were to be silent, face forward, hands on the table, ready to learn did not deter them. It had become so loud that kids were tugging on my sleeve and telling me they couldn't concentrate. Above the din, I heard a muffled voice from above repeating, "Miss Metcalf!" I finally realized Jeri Flanagan, the school secretary, was shouting at me over the intercom.

I shouted an answer, and silently prayed that Jeri might realize that she should send help immediately. I was trying not to show fear and thinking that it couldn't get worse when a boy approached me with a large glob of oozing snot dangling from his sleeve. He said, "Help me! I have some gook on me!" I choked back my gag reflex and tried another discipline tip, which was suggested by one of the students. He handed me a metal object and said I should bang it on the file cabinet like Mrs. Gano. Believing I had discovered Excalibur, I struck the file cabinet with authority. The child who had given me the tip and approximately three other nearby students stopped talking momentarily.

I was sure it must be time for recess, but as I looked outside at the pouring rain, I knew I was trapped in this room for the morning. During recess, they managed to litter the room with every single game, toy, book, and puzzle in the classroom. Recess was extended to thirty minutes, because it took us 15 minutes to clean up afterwards.

Mrs. Gano has a stoplight for classroom management. All students have a magnetized name tag hanging under the green light. If they misbehave once, the tag is moved to the yellow light, then the red light, and then I had no idea what might happen after that; although I was hoping for perhaps a trap door. Following a series of ineffective threats, I chose one unlucky exemplary naughty student whose name I happened to have caught. I moved his tag to the yellow light. He protested loudly with his hands on his hips, "I am supposed to move my tag myself!"

Not long after I had mopped up the tears from a little girl who insisted she needed to color and then cut her finger puppets instead of cutting and then coloring as I had instructed them, Mrs. Gano returned from her meeting fifteen minutes early. I stifled my urge to hug her, and I hastily retreated out the door!

My featured recipes this week are fast and easy, which are two of my favorite traits for any recipe.

Easy Rice Meatballs:

1 C. Minute Rice

1 lb. ground beef

1/8 t. marjoram

2 t. grated onion (optional)

1 egg lightly beaten

2 t. salt

dash of pepper

2 1/2 C. tomato juice or tomato sauce

1 T. sugar

Mix rice, egg, beef, seasonings, and 1/2 C. tomato juice. Shape into small balls. Blend sugar and remaining 2 C. of tomato juice. Pour into the skillet with meatballs. Bring just to a boil. Cover and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, basting occasionally.

Upside Down Rhubarb Cake:

(A family favorite year round dessert!)

1 white cake mix

1 pint whipping cream (not whipped)

1 C. sugar

Cut up enough fresh or frozen rhubarb to cover the bottom of a 9 X 13 pan.

Mix the cake as directed on the box. Pour into a 9 X 13 pan and cover with a layer of rhubarb. Pour whipping cream over rhubarb, and sprinkle sugar over the top. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour or until the center is firm. When serving, turn it upside down.

Frito Chili Casserole:

8 oz. Frito corn chips, slightly crushed

4 (15 oz.) cans chili

2 (15 oz.) cans hominy (or corn if desired)

1 medium onion

1 1/2 C. grated American cheese

Drain hominy and mix with chili. Arrange ingredients in an ungreased casserole dish in this order: chili, onion, cheese, chips. Repeat layers ending with a generous layer of chips. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.