Cooking in the West

When the bull elk starts to bugle and there is a chill in the morning air, I get really homesick for the smell of wood smoke coming from the cook tent. I spent most of two decades cooking in a hunting camp in the Scapegoat Wilderness for the Todd's K Lazy 3, and I have hundreds of great memories of those years. I retired from 25 years of teaching junior high English in the spring of 2006, and I did not start my County Superintendent of Schools position until January of 2007. I worked as a long term substitute teacher for the first month of school that fall of 2006, and then it was time to head to the Meadow Creek camp to cook for hunters in the early season rifle hunt. That fall I wrote the following:

I have been pondering a question: Do crazy people know they are crazy? This question arises because everyone I talk to lately questions my sanity. Since I retired from school teaching, I have been substitute teaching, and now I am heading into the Scapegoat Wilderness to cook for five hunts. No one seems to agree on whether being a substitute teacher or a hunting camp cook is more insane as a career path in retirement. I myself cannot decide.

I do know that substitute teaching is a great way to catch a nasty cold. When I taught junior high, at least the students happily kept their distance. I have recently been substituting in Chapter Reading where I spend most of the day with small children. It seems that when their fingers are not in their noses or their mouths, they are all over the teacher. They also want to sit really close to the teacher and put their germy little hands on everything the teacher owns. Consequently, I believe I simultaneously caught at least eight strains of very nasty bugs. I had built up twenty-five years of immunity to big kid's germs, but apparently little kids have ultra-bionic strains of germs oozing off their boogery little fingers.

So after successfully contracting a horrible head cold, I left substituting behind to head into the wilderness during an Equinox storm to sleep in a tent for six nights. It is probably a recipe for pneumonia, especially since I have to head for the trailhead after a football game that is predicted to be soggy. I wonder if it is still possible to "catch your death of a cold" in this day and age of antibiotics? Just in case, I have packed about 6 pounds of cold medication and everything else to ward off the chill that I can think of. Fortunately, most hunting camps are well stocked with liquid cold medicine, which doubles as an antiseptic and anesthetic.

My son and I are such good Cabela's customers that we received the hardback coffee table edition of the Cabela's catalog. I don't want to let the company down, so I immediately proceeded to order several necessities for hunting camp cooking, and I am not talking about cooking gadgets. I ordered some silk long underwear-- technically ultra long so they actually come to my ankles instead of mid-calf. I ordered an outfitter's bedroll tarp for my 20 below rated sleeping bag, because usually all of the tarps are covered in smelly elk blood by this time of year, so I will have my very own nice clean canvas on my cot this year.

However, the most important accessory I ordered was a 24 LED lantern that is powered by 4 double D batteries and has a remote control. If you have ever had to stumble out of an elk blood-stained tarp onto a cold floor in the pitch black tent at 3:00 a.m. to cook breakfast for 10 hunters and struggled to light a kerosene lantern before you can start a fire or the coffee, you can appreciate a remote controlled battery operated lantern! Fortunately, it is camouflage color, so perhaps the outfitter purist types won't even notice that it's not the traditional kerosene lantern that takes twenty matches and several sacrificial singed eyebrows to light.

I noticed a lot of those Scent-lok products in the catalog, but I seriously question that they work. I know most hunters wear those Scent-lok garments, but I can still definitely smell them several yards away after they have been hiking up mountains, butchering dead animals, and riding horses around for a few days. Truthfully, I don't know what I am complaining about--having a bad head cold is actually a blessing in disguise for a camp cook!

Hunting season coincides with football season, which means tailgate parties, and a new dip idea is always a hit. Here are three great dip ideas that make for tasty appetizers even if you don't tailgate!

Texas Trash Dip:

8 oz. package of cream cheese

1 C. sour cream

2 (16-ounce) cans of refried beans

1 (7-ounce) can of chopped green chilies, drained

1 (1-ounce) package taco seasoning mix

4 C. Mexican cheese blend, shredded and divided

green onion, chopped, for garnish

black olives, sliced, for garnish

tortilla chips for serving

Mix the cream cheese and sour cream together and microwave for one minute until the cheese is softened. Whisk together and then stir in beans, chilies, taco seasoning and half the cheese. Spray a 9 X 13 glass pan with cooking spray and pour mixture into pan. Top with remaining cheese and bake at 350 degrees until hot and gooey for about 25 minutes. Top with green onions and black olive slices and serve warm as a dip for tortilla chips.

Crabby Pretzels:

8 oz lump crab meat

8 oz cream cheese

1/2 C. sour cream

2 T. mayonnaise

1 T. fresh lemon juice

1/2 t. dry mustard

1 T. milk

1/4 C. Cheddar cheese

pinch garlic salt

Old Bay seasoning to taste

2 jumbo fresh soft pretzels or several smaller soft pretzels

Place jumbo soft pretzels on a baking sheet. (I prefer not to salt the pretzel but feel free to apply it per the directions if desired.) In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, lemon juice, mustard powder, and garlic salt until smooth. Then add milk, cheddar cheese and Old Bay. Fold in crab meat and spoon dip onto pretzels. Sprinkle it with a little extra Cheddar cheese if you want. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until crab dip is hot all the way through.

To make a bowl of just crab dip without the pretzel, simply spoon the dip into a greased casserole dish and bake at 350˚ for about 25 minutes, stirring as needed. Serve with fresh bread, chips, soft pretzel nuggets, or hard pretzels.

Buffalo Chicken Dip:

8-oz. cream cheese, softened

4 oz. shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

4 oz. shredded Pepper Jack cheese

1/2 C. hot sauce (like Frank's Red Hot)

1/2 C, ranch dressing

3/4 t. black pepper

1/2 t. garlic powder

4 C. cooked chopped chicken

1/2 C. thinly sliced scallions (or green onions)

3/4 C. blue cheese, crumbled

Stir softened cream cheese, cheeses, hot sauce, ranch dressing, pepper, and garlic powder together. Fold in chicken and scallions. Place in a greased 9 X 13 dish and top with blue cheese crumbles. Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve with carrots, celery, crackers, or chips.