Cooking in the West

Over my years of writing this column, many people have told me that they have learned about ranching through reading my column. I laugh and explain that would likely be the equivalent of feeling that one could break a colt because he/she has watched RFDTV horse training shows. Although shows like "Yellowstone" glamorize ranching, there are a lot of ranching tasks that are not very glamorous. This column should effectively debunk the romantic portrayal of cattle ranching..

Megan Cremer, who is the sweetest cutest territory sales rep for Merck Animal Health and also happens to be one of my former students, recently called to invite us to a Parasite Trial and Fraser Livestock Open House Barbecue. She had my attention at free Todd Family Meats steak dinner, but I am still not sure about the parasite trial part.

As I read her directions for gathering fecal samples for the parasite trial, I began to have serious doubts about participating in this trial. The first paragraph said to keep the samples cool but not frozen and gather no more than 20 samples? What? I am supposed to pick up 20 cow pie samples in 90 plus degree heat and keep them cool?

In addition, she explained it is more beneficial to gather samples from younger cattle, so that means I have to drive 165 miles to pick up heifer poop and store it in a cooler at optimum temperature until I can get it back to Fraser Livestock's refrigerator. No problem. Fortunately, each sample should be golf ball size not basketball size so that will make it somewhat more manageable.

Megan suggested sandwich size freezer bags and ice packs, so I started assembling my materials. She said you did not have to see the "drop", but the sample should be warm when you put your hand in it. Oooh, this is not sounding good. I went back to the store for a jumbo box of latex gloves. When it is 90 plus degrees I am pretty sure that all samples will feel pretty warm, but I did comprehend her freshness test.

So armed with my bags,, cooler, gloves, sunglasses, sunscreen, hat, two gallons of water, and lunch just in case this took awhile, I set off. Two and a half hours and $75.00 worth of diesel later, I arrived at the heifer pasture. The ones that weren't lounging by the water tank were shaded up already. I sat by the tank and watched them for at least twenty minutes and not one of them decided it was time to relieve herself of fecal matter. I started wondering how often heifers defecate on average, but sadly I could not Google it because I did not have any cell service. It seems like cows relieve themselves very often, but perhaps I should have researched their toilet habits before embarking on this mission of lunacy. It was beginning to look like getting 20 samples might require an overnight stay.

Feeling like some ranchwife degenerate, I got out the binoculars and studied the backsides of some heifers standing under some trees a few hundred yards away. Finally one lifted her tail, and I sprang into action. Packing my supplies, I hurried over to the cluster of heifers who watched me approach curiously and then tore off for the other end of the pasture like they were being stalked by a deranged pooper scooper. It is not all that easy to find a fecal drop in a pasture when you are not certain exactly where it dropped. My first drop sighting did not yield a baggie of poop, because I could not find a mound of fresh poop in the grass. A couple hours and five little baggies of cow plop later, I decided I would have to go to plan B.

Plan B was to drive back home 165 miles and $75.00 worth of diesel to force my son, Bret, to try his luck at collecting fecal samples off older cows so we would have less than an embarrassing number of samples for the parasite trial.

I couldn't feel too sorry for myself though, because Megan's mother, Lois Cremer, had it far worse than I. She had to sit all day and help her daughter analyze those fecal samples everyone proudly brought in. Somehow I don't think collecting fecal samples for a parasite trial will be featured on the next season of "Yellowstone", because I really can't envision Beth Dutton following cows around trying to score a fecal sample to put in a Ziploc baggie.

Of course this column demands beef recipes! Here are some of my favorites, and the last one is just in time for zucchini season!

Spaghetti Casserole

1.5 lbs. uncooked spaghetti

3 lbs. ground beef

1 C. chopped onion

2/3 C. chopped green pepper

1 t. minced garlic

2 cans cream of mushroom soup

2 cans condensed tomato soup

1 1/3 C. water

1 can stems and pieces mushrooms, drained

3 C. shredded Cheddar cheese, divided

Cook spaghetti according to package directions. Meanwhile, in two large skillets, cook the beef, onion and green pepper over medium heat until meat is no longer pink. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Drain. Stir in the soups, water and mushrooms.

Drain spaghetti. Add spaghetti and 1 cup cheese to beef mixture. Transfer to two greased 13x9-in. baking dishes. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Cover and freeze one casserole for up to 3 months. Bake remaining casserole, uncovered, at 350° for 20-25 minutes or until cheese is melted.

(To use frozen casserole: Thaw in the refrigerator overnight. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Cover and bake at 350° for 1 to 1-1/4 hours or until heated through and cheese is melted.)

Make Ahead Meatballs

4 eggs, beaten

2 C. dry bread or cracker crumbs

1/2 C. finely chopped onion

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

1 t. minced garlic

1 T. salt

1/2 t. pepper

2 lbs. ground beef

2 lbs. ground pork sausage

In a large bowl, combine the first seven ingredients. Crumble beef and sausage over mixture and mix well. Shape into 1-in. balls, about 12 dozen. Place meatballs in shallow baking pans. Bake at 400° for 10-15 minutes or until no longer pink, turning often; drain. Cool. Freeze cooled meatballs in freezer containers. To use, partially thaw in refrigerator overnight. Reheat on a greased 15x10x1-in. baking pan in a preheated 350° oven until heated through. (Of course, you can make and serve these meatballs without freezing. Serve in your favorite barbecue sauce, wing sauce, Alfredo sauce, spaghetti sauce, Vodka sauce, or make a mushroom sauce by heating equal parts of cream of mushroom soup and sour cream.)

Hamburger Zucchini Casserole

l lb. ground beef

l med. onion, chopped

1/2 t. salt

1/8 t. pepper

3/4 C. uncooked white rice

1 C. water

2 C. zucchini sliced in 1/4 inch slices

1 large tomato, chopped

2 cans condensed tomato soup

2 C. shredded Mozzarella cheese

Heat oven to 375°F. Spray 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish with cooking spray. In 10-inch skillet, cook beef and onion over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until beef is thoroughly cooked; drain. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place rice and water in baking dish. Stir to mix. Layer cooked beef, zucchini, and tomato over rice. Pour soup over top. Cut 16 X 12 sheet of foil, spray with cooking spray. Cover dish with foil, sprayed side down. Bake 40 minutes. Uncover dish. Sprinkle cheese over top and bake uncovered for 15 minutes longer or until edges are bubbling and cheese is lightly browned.