Cooking in the West

This is the time of year when I occasionally volunteer to do other's chores while they slip away for a day or two for a pre-haying vacation that usually lasts one day and involves a rodeo. Recently, we were tasked with taking care of our daughter's family's two dogs, two cats, 24 fish, 15 chickens, 4 ducks, and a gecko. We averaged one missing duck and one missing chicken per day, so we were really glad when they returned home to relieve us of a miserably failed duty as we had run out of ducks and were quickly running out of chickens. We even stood guard on the deck overlooking the chicken yard with a gun each evening, and we fortified the chicken house with tin and electric fence, but we could not stop the foul fatalities from an unidentified predator which ate four ducks and five chickens in five days.

In fact, I have always been a bit hesitant to volunteer to do chores when I remember back to an experience we had a few years back when our hired man, who was actually a woman whose initials (to protect her anonymity of course) are Audrey Burke.

Audrey had two nurse cows with calves on them. I was sure we could handle her chores. I even had in-service training on Friday evening. I learned that the cows and calves were color-coded. The red calves went on the black cow, and the black calves went on the Brown Swiss cow. I carefully watched the order that everything was done in. I tried to memorize the names of the two cows and eight calves, and I tucked the ration amounts into my sieve-like memory. In retrospect, I probably should have taken a few notes. Everything went very smoothly...until Audrey drove away.

On Saturday morning, we pulled up to the corral and called the two nurse cows, Sophie and Elaine. They didn't come. In fact, they weren't the least bit interested in leaving their nice big pasture for the confines of the corral and the duties of surrogate motherhood. I tried to call them just like Audrey did, but I am obviously not very good at imitating voices. They began ambling towards the trees. I deduced that maybe they were afraid of men, so I asked Remi to fill the grain buckets with rations that I suddenly was unsure of. I took the first bucket and shook it at Sophie and Elaine. They took this as a signal to amble away much faster.

We went to Plan B. We put the grain bucket in the gate and jogged around them. They gave up fairly easily and headed for the barn. Since there was no grain in their tubs yet, they immediately exited the barn. I apologized profusely to them and invited them back in. Sophie declined the invitation rudely and went right back out the gate, which we hadn't bothered to close, into the pasture. Elaine went in and began eating both rations of grain. She had eaten most of her ration and tipped Sophie's over in the next stall before we finally convinced Sophie to join her.

Getting them into the barn had been a cakewalk compared to getting them out. First we had to move the weaned former nurse calves after they finished their grain. Driving them was quite a lot like driving a playful quail. After a bit of jogging and cursing, we accomplished that task. When we tried to put the nurse calves out of the barn, they ran around and around, gleefully avoiding the door like it was electrified. Finally we turned the cows loose. They bolted out the door along with Frieda, who had finally mastered the concept of the door. Let's just say that when we got all ten fed, sorted, and back in their respective areas it was much later. I don't know how Audrey got everything done around there with all these chores to do!

The rest of the weekend went great...except that Audrey owned a thoroughbred stud who went through a fence to "visit" our three-year-old paint filly, who had just completed months of exceptional training from Audrey. Anyway, for some reason, Audrey never took another weekend off.

My recipes this week are an assortment of my favorites from three of my former teaching colleagues. Thanks to Kathy Agnew, Mary Catherine Meek, and Cheri Fjare of Big Timber, Montana for sharing these recipes!

Mary Catherine Meek's Sweet & Sour Dressing:

1 C. mayonnaise

1/2 C. sugar

3 T. red wine vinegar

Mix and use as dressing. This dressing keeps two weeks in the refrigerator and is great on spinach.

Kathy Agnew's Mud Pie:

25 Oreos

1 stick butter

1 to 2 gallons of coffee ice cream

2 jars hot fudge topping

slivered almonds

whipping cream

Spray a 9 x 13 pan with PAM. Grind up 25 regular Oreos. Melt butter and add to the crumb mixture. Press into an even bottom crust. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Cool. Soften 1 to 2 gallons of coffee ice cream with a mixer. You may also mix in a bit of instant coffee combined with 1 to 2 T. water if you want a stronger coffee flavor. Spread ice cream over the crust, cover with waxed paper, and freeze until firm. Spread 2 jars of hot fudge sauce over the ice cream just as you would ice a cake. Top with slivered almonds if desired. Return to the freezer. Remove a few minutes before serving. Top each serving with whipped cream if desired.

Cheri Fjare's Dad's Beef Jerky:

1 lb. lean beef

3 T. soy sauce

5 T. Worcestershire sauce

1 T. ketchup

1 t. pepper

1/2 t. cayenne pepper

1/4 t. garlic powder

1/4 t. onion salt

1/2 t. salt

1 T. Liquid Smoke

Remove all fat and place beef in the freezer, because when it is semi-frozen, it is easily cut into 3/8-inch to 1/4-inch strips. Cut against the grain. Combine all of the remaining ingredients and marinate at least one hour or overnight in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator. Dry in a dehydrator at 145 degrees for 8 to 10 hours. Turn at least once during drying. Times will vary depending on thickness. (A London Broil cut works great. You may wish to cut the pepper to 1/2 t. if it is finely ground pepper.)