Cooking in the West

I have always been a Martha Stewart fan, which I believe I can admit now that she's been out of jail for a long time. I loved her shows and website, but as a backcountry cook I would like to see Martha pack everything in on mules and serve it in a swarm of horse flies. Just in case she wants to expand into the area of creative backcountry cookery, I have decided to share a few ideas that (exactly like Martha) I have stolen or concocted.

First of all, outfitters in general do not like to pack squishy things like artichokes, raspberries, and cucumbers. They like to limit the cook to canned peas, beans, and corn. Packages of feta cheese, Greek olives, puff pastries, and fresh mint are also frowned upon when the pack boxes are being assembled. Fortunately the packers do not want to do the cooking, so the grumbling is mostly under their breath.

Therefore, the camp cook must become creative in mundane ways. For example, one bag of trail mix contains the ingredients to dress up coleslaw, decorate a cake, and garnish trout. Who knew there were so many uses for cashews, M&M's, and dried fruit? Quite honestly I didn't until I found my very own Wilderness Martha on a K Lazy Three trip into the Scapegoat Wilderness many years back. Our party had taken a day ride up to a mountain lake, and I was heading back to camp early to get supper started when one of the clients, whom we shall call Kathy from Florida (I only memorize first names and home states), asked if she could come along.

On the ride back, we began planning a birthday party for Scott from New York, who was celebrating his 45th birthday that day. Now, one of the packers had been sent with us for bear protection, wood chopping, retrieving the coolers from where they had been hung in the trees, and other manly chores, but we soon had Jess from Montana (whose last name REALLY needs to remain anonymous for my own safety) picking wildflowers and making a tin foil crown for the birthday boy. In fact, Jess commented that it was the first time he had ever picked flowers for a man. Obviously Jess did not realize that such comments should never be uttered in the presence of someone who has to churn out a weekly humor/recipe column. Anyway, now that I have permanently scarred Jess's rough and rugged reputation-- since frankly I was a little concerned that he might decide cooking is a whole lot easier than packing and start bucking for my job--let me get back to the storyline...

Kathy turned out to be invaluable when we arrived at camp. First she broke out some wine, sprayed us and the kitchen area down with horse fly repellant, and then she promptly arranged an impressive wildflower bouquet in a crushed pineapple can, spruced up the coleslaw with trail mix ingredients, and began decorating the cake with Indian paintbrush and M&M's.

By this time, Jess had fashioned a crown that we all agreed his art teacher would have been proud of, and he built a very aggressive potato baking fire - because I do like to serve at least one charred menu item per meal if possible so that everyone receives their recommended daily allowance of carbon. The backcountry birthday party was a smashing success because of Kathy's creativity and Jess's party planning skills.

Over my backcountry camp cooking years, I came up with some backcountry creations that would make Martha Stewart swoon if she knew of them. Do you know that packer bread, which is bread squished beyond recognition by mules bumping pack boxes against trees, can be easily molded into shapes for variety in gourmet wilderness sandwiches? You don't even have to trim the crusts, because the crust has already fallen off and been ground into the bread.

Did you know that there is no need to remove the seeds from a cantaloupe that has been packed on a mule for several days? When you slice it open, all the seeds and pulverized insides simply run out.

Did you know that you can make at least 10 different animal/western motif shapes out of pancake batter? Did you know that you can blacken them on both sides and still have a nice doughy center? Did you know that you won't get fired from a camp cooking job for serving blackened western motif pancakes? Follow me for more practical backcountry cooking tips!

How about some favorite camping recipes this week? Readers, I could use some good summer recipes in my inbox, so please send them to [email protected].

Meadow Creek Dump Cake:

1 white or yellow cake mix

1 large can cherry pie filling

1 large can crushed pineapple (undrained)

3/4 C. butter

Mix cake mix with pie filling and crushed pineapple. Pour into a greased 9x13 pan. Dot the top with butter slices. (3/4 C. butter equals 1.5 sticks) Bake at 350 degrees until cake tests are done (about 30 minutes).

Oven Roasted Potatoes:

2 lbs. potatoes, scrubbed and chunked

1 envelope Lipton onion soup mix

1/4 C. Parmesan cheese

1/2 C. vegetable oil

Toss all together in a Ziploc bag until well coated. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes on a cookie sheet. Stir occasionally for even browning. Garnish with parsley flakes. (This also works well in a Dutch oven or a large tin foil pouch. Cleaning up is a breeze, but the potatoes do not brown as nicely.)

Chicken and Wild Rice:

10 chicken breasts

4 pkg. Rice-a-Roni Wild Rice mix

16 oz. sour cream

2 family-sized cans cream of mushroom soup

2 cans mushroom stems and pieces, drained

Brown chicken breasts seasoned with Alpine Touch in melted butter in a cast iron skillet and set aside. Prepare wild rice according to the package directions. When rice is finished, add sour cream, mushroom soup, and mushrooms. Mix well and pour into a roasting pan. Top with browned chicken breasts and bake until rice is bubbly and chicken tests done.