Cooking in the West

This morning we woke up to several inches of snow and below zero temperatures. As I drank my coffee, I perused the posts of my Facebook friends who live in Arizona. A couple of them invited me to come down to stay with them, but I doubt if they mean from Thanksgiving till Easter. As is customary on the first day of nasty weather every year, I announced that I was going to do some quick research on becoming an instant Snowbird. My husband who was struggling into his Carhartts at the time said, "Well, just do a better job negotiating with the R.V. place than you did last year at the car dealership." Then he added hopefully, "When are you leaving?"

I chose to ignore both remarks, because it is probably true that when you go to a car dealership to trade off a Ford Taurus that has been snowed in for two weeks, you should not walk through the door waving the keys in one hand and the title to your trade-in in the other. It MIGHT have caused us to be a skosh disadvantaged in the area of negotiations when we were trying to buy a used four wheel drive vehicle. Although in my defense, we had to make a deal, because there was no way to get back home in the Taurus, as we had barely made it out just as the wind picked up. I also speculated that if I showed up in a rented R.V. to head south, he would be in the driver's seat before I could get some groceries and bedding packed.

I figured we would need at least a mid-sized R.V. Turns out there are a lot of options. One place would even deliver our R.V. to our destination and set it up for us. That seemed the perfect solution, because we could just pick a spot in say Florida, and then fly down and stay in it without all the stress of trying to drive it 3,000 miles on back roads to avoid traffic. The cost of that option seemed a bit prohibitive, however, so I didn't even ask if they would find us a parking spot or if we would have to keep moving around to different Walmart parking lots all winter.

In order to get a price quote, you must enter a start date for your trip and an ending date. I figured we would need at least three days to guilt our son Bret into taking care of the cows and everything else around here, resign from my job, clean out the fridge, winterize the house, and get packed up. We should be ready to leave on the fourth day. The problem was the ending date. I decided we should return home at least a few days before calving starts, just to keep Bret happy. Unfortunately, I could not book more than 30 days online. 30 days is just not long enough to become a Snowbird!! Nevertheless, I entered 30 days, and got really excited about how affordable the rental was. Then I realized that did not include mileage. Oops, when I calculated the mileage, I decided maybe I need to work a few more years or we need to win the lottery, or maybe we can rob a couple convenience stores on our way south?

Then I realized that maybe we were setting the bar too high. Maybe we could become low budget Snowbirds. Fortunately for us, although I had sold our 1977 Wilderness camp trailer last spring, the people who bought it had brought it back to us. This is what happens when you do not require a down payment or any monthly payments when you sell something. When I suggested this Wilderness option to Remi, he suggested something that is not really printworthy.

Then I remembered that our last tenants in our classy doublewide (which has been trashed by decades of college students) had left a 1974 Dodge Caravan custom R.V. blocking the driveway when they stopped paying rent. (If you have noticed a pattern of really bad business acumen on our part, it is pretty much undeniable and perhaps the reason why we cannot afford to rent an R.V. to go south.) The only problem with that R.V. was that it appears to have been used as a portable dog/cat/chicken house for the last few years. I am not even sure a self-respecting vagrant would claim it, but if anyone wants to rehome it, please contact us so we can get it out of the driveway on Bozeman Trail Road. Remember, no money down, and no payments is our motto!

Some of you may think I am exaggerating the business details of this column, but I am not. We are the worst landlords and sales people in the universe. In fact, one summer I worked for Circus Vargus giving away FREE circus tickets to kids under 12. The promotion was to give away kids' tickets so their parents would buy tickets to bring them to the circus. My sister Jane and I would go down opposite sides of the street and meet at the other end. Halfway down the street, she would run out of tickets and cross over to pick up half of my rejected tickets, so she could finish her side. At the end of the street, she would be out of tickets, and I would still have a wad of free tickets. Sales are not my forte, and neither are business negotiations, so I guess I will just pull on my Under Armour and face this winter like a person who has failed to plan for retirement!

My featured cook this week is faithful reader and author Jane Lambert of Stevensville, Montana. Thanks, Jane! The first recipe is perfect for using up those Thanksgiving leftovers!

Turkey Tetrazini: (Recipe given for two amounts, depending on how many you are feeding)

1 lb. pasta, uncooked (1/2 lb.)

1/2 C. butter (1/4 C.)

1/2 C. flour (1/4 C.)

3 C. chicken broth (1 1/2 C.)

2 C. milk (1 C..)

1 2/3 C. grated parmesan (3/4 C.)

4 C. leftover turkey, chopped (2C.)

1 C. peas (1/2C.)

Cook the pasta, and drain. Make a white sauce: melt butter, stir in flour, and cook and stir for a minute or so. Slowly add in the chicken broth and milk, stirring all the while. Bring to a boil to thicken. Stir in most of the parmesan, saving some to sprinkle on top.

Mix in the cut up turkey and peas, and place in a baking dish. Sprinkle top with parmesan and bake at 350 degrees for an hour. (Less for the smaller recipe.)

Marinated Broccoli Salad:

Three small bunches of broccoli, broken into flowerettes

1 lb. sliced mushrooms

1 C. cider vinegar

1 T sugar

1 T ground thyme

1/2 t. marjoram (or oregano)

1 1/2 C. oil

1 t. salt

1 t. pepper

2 cloves of minced or pressed garlic

Mix all together, and let marinate for a few hours in the refrigerator before serving.

Huckleberry Lattice Bars:

1 1/2 C. flour, plus 2 T flour for later

1/2 C. packed brown sugar

1/4 C. white sugar

1/2 t. baking powder

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. cinnamon

1/2 C. butter

1 egg, beaten

1 t. vanilla

1 cup jam--huckleberry. raspberry, strawberry, blackberry--should be thick in consistency

1 T. water

Combine 1 1/2 C. flour, the sugars, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a bowl, and thoroughly stir together. Cut in the butter until well combined (like Bisquick). Add egg and vanilla, mix, and then divide dough in half. Press one half into the bottom of a greased 9" square pan. Put the other half into a small bowl. Heat the jam, then spread it over the crust in the pan.

To the dough in the small pan, add the 2 T. of flour, and mix. Sprinkle the water over, to make a pastry dough. Roll out the dough (I put it between waxed paper), and cut it into strips. Make a lattice top with the dough, over the jam. Seal edges with a dab of water.

Bake at 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or until golden. Cook completely before cutting into bars.