Cooking in the West

2020 and 2021 have not been easy years for anyone, but especially not for Santa Claus. I wrote this poem to underscore that despite the state of our country and our world, we can still celebrate good and love and joy and remember that Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Santa’s Woe, Ho, Ho

—by Susan Metcalf

Christmas 2020 and 2021 have not been easy on the normally jolly Santa Claus.

His world has been rocked by vaccination mandates and social distancing laws.

Kids cannot come sit on Santa’s lap cuz they have to stay far apart.

Consoling screaming toddlers from six feet away breaks his heart.

He has made a list and checked it twice,

It seems all children now IDENTIFY as nice.

There are piles of gifts for girls and boys,

But it’s tough to build transgender toys!

He must beware of solar panels or risk a header;

He must be conscious not to be a super spreader.

So upon entering every house, he has to sanitize,

And of course wear a mask and shield his eyes.

Milk and cookies are no longer for him left about.

Individually packaged snacks he could do without.

If you think it is hard to hire help--try living at the North Pole!

The financial stress of double digit inflation has taken a toll.

Then there is the lawsuit brought by the leftist green.

Turns out giving coal is anti-environmental and mean.

Yep, Santa Claus has been accused of being a bully,

Which is something he cannot comprehend fully.

Poor Santa feels so disrespected and misunderstood

In his desire to bring the world joy and love and good.

His mantra for the Covid age could be, “Woe, Woe, Woe!”

But the jolly old man refuses to give up on, “Ho, Ho, Ho!”

He’ll board the sleigh anyway and deliver to every continent and isle.

He’ll pay $4.00 for sled diesel to see the little faces light up with a smile!

A merry Christmas it shall be for every girl and boy.

Santa will not let Covid woes steal the world’s joy!

I would like to share some favorite Christmas recipes from our house to yours that are fun and easy for kids helping in the kitchen during Christmas vacation.

Christmas Popcorn Wreath:

Melt together:

1/2 C. butter

1/3 C. oil

16 oz. marshmallows

Stir well and pour over the following ingredients:

5 quarts popped popcorn

salted peanuts or other nuts

red and green gumdrops (or assorted small gumdrops)

Shape into a wreath on a parchment covered serving tray. Garnish with more nuts and gumdrops as desired. Drizzle with caramel or melted chocolate if desired. Add a bow for a festive touch.

Easy Microwave Caramels:

1 C. butter

2 1/2 C. brown sugar packed

1 C. light corn syrup

14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk

1 t. vanilla

dash sea salt (optional)

Line a pan with parchment paper and spray paper with baking spray. If you want taller caramels use a 9 x 9 pan. If you want short caramels use a 9 x 13 pan. Use a large microwave safe bowl for this recipe. Make sure your bowl is pretty big or the caramel will boil over. Melt butter in bowl.Add brown sugar, corn syrup, and sweetened condensed milk to butter. Stir to combine.

Microwave on full power for 4 minutes. Remove from the microwave and stir. Repeat for two more four minute intervals, stirring after each.

Do a soft ball test by dropping a small ball of caramel into a glass of water. Check to see how soft the caramel. is. The caramel should hold together in a ball and be pretty soft. Determine if caramel is the consistency you would like. If caramel is a little too soft, still microwave for another 1-2 minutes. Once you’ve reached the desired consistency remove caramel from the microwave and stir. Add vanilla. Add a dash of sea salt if desired.

Pour caramel mixture into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with sea salt if desired.Let caramel sit until completely cooled.

Remove from the pan and cut into squares. Wrap in small squares of wax paper and store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Christmas Crack(ers):

1 C. butter (no substitutes)

1 C. brown sugar

48 saltine crackers

1 1/2 C. semi sweet chocolate chips

Sprinkles, chopped nuts, or other toppings

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line the baking sheet with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray. Line foil with saltine crackers, touching salt side up. You probably won’t need quite two sleeves of crackers

Over medium heat, while constantly stirring, bring butter and sugar to a gentle, yet rolling, boil. If you turn the heat too high the mixture might separate. I like to use a whisk for stirring

Once it is boiling, remove the spoon and boil for exactly 3 minutes. You want the heat to be as low as possible while maintaining a boil. It's important for the mixture to be completely boiling for the entire three minutes or the candy will turn out soggy.

Pour over saltine crackers. Spread with the back of a spoon if necessary. Bake for 5 minutes at 400 degrees. Remove from the oven and sprinkle immediately with chocolate chips. Let sit a couple minutes and spread chocolate with the back of a spoon. Decorate with sprinkles, chopped peppermint candies, chopped nuts, toffee bits, or whatever you wish. When cool, break or cut into pieces. Store in an airtight container.