Cooking in the West

Seems like most battles these days are fought on social media where keyboard warriors try to change our perceptions, if not our lives, and it just might have the power to change the course of history. Everything we do now is chronicled on social media. World leaders are offended by each other's tweets. Perhaps Twitter and Facebook won't alter the course of history, but I cannot help but think they would have changed the perception of historic events if they had existed back in the day.

With Columbus Day coming up, let me hypothesize a few historical tweets to prove my point.

#1. Christoper Columbus posting on October 12, 1492: "Yo, ho, ho, Isabella and Ferdinand. . . today we came ashore somewhere near China or Japan I think. I don't really know what a Bahama Mama is, but it sure is refreshing after tossing around for two months in that little ship. I think we will claim this land for Spain, capture a few Indians to bring back in March, and just kind of hang loose here on the islands, mon!" Of course he posted a selfie of himself with one of the first rastafarians he encountered.

#2. Mary Ball Washington's Facebook Post on April 8, 1738: "Our high hopes for little George have been dashed by a dastardly deed he has committed. He chopped down my cherry tree! I told Augustine not to give him that hatchet for his birthday, but he said it was a better gift than a pony. I wanted to give him a white pony and a powdered wig, so he could practice riding into battle and other pursuits of liberty and leadership, but now it appears he is destined to become a vandal rather than the fine general I had hoped he would become!"

#3. Benjamin Franklin's Facebook Post in June 1752: Holy Static Electricity! Today William and I were flying a kite in a lightning storm, and I must advise you that is not a good experiment to conduct--no electrically charged pun intended. It knocked me flat on my knickers and certainly gave new meaning to the expression, "Go fly a kite!"

#4. General George Armstrong Custer' s first Facebook post on the morning of June 25, 1876: "It is 105 degrees today, and the U.S, Army, in its infinite wisdom, has sent us out here wearing wool suits. To top it off, we rode 40 miles this morning, but we are going to catch those Indians napping in their camp across the Little Bighorn River. Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse and these renegades are going to be on the reservation by the end of the week!"

General Custer's last tweet (1 hour later): #Uh-oh!

#5. Juan Ponce de Leon's post on the Bahama's Online Yardsale Group Page in February of 1514: ISO (In Search Of for all of those who do not speak fluent online yard sale) invigorating waters that could be located in what will come to be known as Florida, the home to millions of retired folks in the centuries to come. If you have information about such a fountain that restores vitality, please contact me by personal message, because the cell service in this day and age is lousy!

#6. Sacagawea's post on May 14, 1805: These goofballs I am traveling with refuse to stop and ask for directions. I haven't been up this river since I was kidnapped as a child, but they seem to expect me to have some kind of photographic memory. Today I rescued a bunch of important journals from the boat they capsized, so they named the river the Sacagawea River. Don't get me wrong--It is flattering to be a legend, but this is a little extreme. What I wouldn't give to just go back to my normal life as a 14 year old mother. . . this celebrity lifestyle does not suit me!

#7. Joe Biden's post on September 28, 2021: Hey, man, unless you are an illegal immigrant with Covid camped out under a bridge near the Texas border, you need to wear a mask and get vaccinated to enjoy the privileges of living in this country. If you are an illegal immigrant with Covid, a drug dealer, or a terrorist, feel free to enter our country where you will be boarded on complimentary flights to undisclosed locations to do whatever you want to for the rest of your life, because this is the land of the free and the home of well you know...the irrational... or whatever the rest of that saying is? Wear a mask!

Can you imagine the YouTube sensation Crazy Horse would have become if he would have had a Go-Pro camera mounted on his war bonnet on that day in 1876 when he rode into battle shouting, "Hokahey, today is a good day to die!" I am pretty certain it would have gone viral even though it would have been spoken in Sioux! Controversies on our hometown Big Timber Buzz sort of pale in comparison to some of those that could have taken place if only there had been social media back then?

Columbus Day is my favorite holiday, because I get the day off from my county job, but I don't have to buy gifts, decorate, nor cook anything special to celebrate it. I don't have any Columbus Day recipes to share, but I have some fall favorites from my neighbor, Nancy Bruce. Thanks, Nancy!

Nancy's Anise Biscotti:

1 C. sugar

1/2 C. butter

3 eggs (reserve one yolk)

1 t. anise seed

1 t anise extract

3 C. flour

1/2 t. salt

2 t. baking powder

1 T. milk

multicolored sprinkles (optional)

Cream sugar and butter, add eggs (reserving 1 yolk), and beat well. Stir in anise seed and extract. Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and add to egg mixture. Blend thoroughly. On a greased baking sheet, form dough into two long, flat loaves 1/2 inch thick by 2 inches wide. Combine reserved yolk and milk, and brush the top of the loaves. Sprinkle with sprinkles. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Cool for a few minutes and cut into 1 inch diagonal slices with a pizza cutter. Place slices cut side down on a baking sheet and return to the oven for 5 minutes. Take out of the oven, turn slices over, and bake for another five minutes. Cool and serve.

Cowboy Cookies:

2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. baking powder

2 eggs

1 cup shortening

1 cup white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

2 cups rolled oats

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 package of chocolate chips

Sift together and set aside the flour, soda, salt and baking powder. Cream shortening and sugars and add eggs and vanilla. Thoroughly mix in dry ingredients and add rolled oats and chocolate chips. Drop by spoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until golden brown. Yields about four dozen cookies. Recipe can easily be doubled.

Fudge-Scotch Squares:

1 1/2 C. graham crumbs

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 C. butterscotch chips

1 C. chocolate chips

1 C. nuts

Mix all ingredients and put in a well greased 9 inch square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes. Cut into squares.