Cooking in the West

Several years back, I inadvertently stumbled upon a new method of calving--the homeopathic method. This like the discovery of all great things such as fire and disposable diapers came about quite by accident.

Calving season was winding down, so many other pursuits such as farming were occupying the CEO of our ranching operation. CEO sounds like such an officious title for someone who wades around in knee deep muck in worn out coveralls all day. Nevertheless, one rainy afternoon as calving season was winding down and farming season was looming, the CEO tore himself away from repairing a piece of worn out old equipment to run through the cows on the four wheeler. He had noticed one four year old cow that had not come to the feed ground that morning, so he had made a mental note to watch her in between his mechanical duties. When he finally found her, she had started to calve. Having no way of knowing how long she had been calving, he decided to err on the side of caution and push her into the corral.

I am not sure that veterinarians would agree upon the scientific basis of this theory, but it is my time honored theory that cows about to give birth experience a hormonal imbalance that turns them into a four legged demon possessed creature with super bovine strength and agility and a definite pre partum bad attitude. This nice gentle four year old cow was no exception to my Evil Calving Syndrome theory. She decided she did not want any part of the option of prenatal assistance, so she jumped two fences to make her point. She was now loose in a large pasture dominated by cottonwood deadfall and thick underbrush along the creek. In an instant, she disappeared into the thick brush on the other side of the second fence she had leaped effortlessly.

The CEO looked at his watch and decided with luck he might be able to get some help from the shallow end of his labor pool that was just about to get off work at her town job, which is required to financially support these cows that shun obstetrical intervention. Truly honored to be called upon for assistance (yeah, right?) I told him I would close up shop and get there as soon as possible, which I did.

Half an hour later, when I arrived at the barn, the four wheeler was loaded with ropes, a chainsaw, and the calf puller. It was running, but the CEO was nowhere to be seen. Then I heard a lot of shouting coming from the direction of the horse pasture where the CEO was calmly catching the horses. There was mud flying, thundering hooves, snorting, blowing, cursing, and halter throwing going on, so I assumed he needed assistance. By the time I reached them, he had the horses, who were apparently feeling their oats on a cool rainy day. The CEO was calling them some very unprofessional and unkind things related to their questionable heritage and threatening them with future career changes.

He told me to saddle one of the uh--let's paraphrase them as "worthless creatures" and head up the creek. Then he was off in a spray of mud. As I rode up the creek, I could hear the roar of the four wheeler alternating with sounds of the chainsaw as he cut his way through the brush. A couple times he flew out of the brush back to me to ask me if I had seen anything. When I would shake my head to indicate negatory on that, I could catch phrases between the edited epithets covering a vast array of topics such as selling out to a movie star, moving to Hawaii, etc.

Just as I was happily musing about the prospect of moving to Hawaii, I saw something black in the brush. Cautiously, I headed towards it knowing that the bears have been out of hibernation for a while. As I got closer, I could tell that my prospective bear was indeed the cow of our quest. Right beside her and dangerously near the creek of course was her newborn calf fumbling to struggle to his feet.

I sat and watched them, listening to the creek's babbling, smelling the wet cottonwood buds, and thinking that this probably meant that unfortunately we would not be moving to Hawaii anytime soon. When the CEO came to witness the happy ending, I told him all about my theory of Evil Calving Syndrome and how perhaps the homeopathic method of calving--just letting nature take its course--were wonderfully innovative calving concepts. He pretended to listen attentively and then rode away without a word of praise for my lack of effort nor innovative ideas to address more important matters like his broken tractor.

I wish you all a blessed Easter! How about some spring recipes? Thanks very much to Les Schiele of Big Timber, Montana for sharing her chicken casserole recipe, which can also be used with turkey leftovers if you are serving turkey for Easter.

Les Schiele's Chicken Casserole:

Mix:

1 C. stuffing mix

1/2 C. margarine, melted

Pat into 2 quart casserole.

Combine:

1 can cream of chicken soup

1/2 C. milk

2 C. chopped cooked chicken

10 oz. pkg. broccoli

salt and pepper to taste

Mix well. Spoon into a casserole. Top with remaining 3/4 C. stuffing mix from package. Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes or until bubbly. Top with cheese if desired.

Broccoli Salad:

1 large bunch broccoli, raw, broken bite sized

6 slices bacon, cooked and broken

1 med. onion, chopped

3/4 C. raisins

1/2 C. mayonnaise

1 T. sugar

1 T. vinegar

Toss broccoli, bacon, onion, and raisins together. Mix dressing ingredients together. Add shelled sunflower seeds if desired. Toss all together, chill, and serve.

Spring Cleaning Casserole:

2 lbs. ground beef, browned

6 C. Rice Krispies cereal

medium onion, minced

2 cans chicken with rice soup

2 cans cream of mushroom soup

1 can water chestnuts, drained

1 C. sour cream

1 can whole kernel corn, drained

Mix all ingredients and place in a 9 X 13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour. Top with shredded cheese if desired.