Conversations with God

Hello God, it’s me, Mara:

You know, Lord, a rancher friend recently shared an interesting article which had been printed in 1966, noting that the author was unknown. Since it’s about calving time around in these parts; we all know that ranchers are very busy right now as they work hard tending to their cattle –cattle need special care during calving time. Ranchers make sure there is adequate hay for feed and water to drink, so, this might just be a tad bit interesting to ranchers since this article was written way back then; [it said] by a big city school boy; so, continue reading about how he ‘defines/explains’ a cow. Hope you get a smile out of this short article which was entitled, ‘Definition Of a Cow’. From here on is the quote:

“A big city school boy describes a cow something like this: A cow is a completely automatic milk manufacture machine. It is encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one on each corner.

“The front end contains the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and foghorn. At the rear is the dispensing apparatus and an automatic fly swatter.

“The central portion houses a hydro-chemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks connected in series by an intricate network of flexible plumbing. This section also contains the heating plant complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main ventilating system. The waste disposal apparatus is located at the rear of this central section.

“In brief, the externally visible features are: two lookers, two hookers, four stand-uppers, four hanger-downers and a swishy-wishy.

“There is a similar machine knows as a bull, which should not be confused with a cow. It produces no milk, but has other interesting uses.” Author unknown.

Love, Mara