Cooking in the West

My County School Superintendent's office is in the Sweet Grass County Annex, which used to be the old county hospital and medical clinic. Many of my colleagues are sure the Annex is haunted, but in all my years there, I have never seen a ghost. However, recently I did have two disconcerting experiences with my garbage can that have me wondering about the possibility of paranormal activity.

My garbage can sits right beside my desk, but one day a few weeks back, I returned from the copy room to find my garbage can sitting right in the middle of my office several feet away from the desk, and there was a book that appeared to have fallen off the bookshelf lying on the floor. I did not think much about it until the same thing happened a couple weeks later. I returned from the copy room to find the garbage can moved and a binder standing straight up in such a way that it could not have possibly fallen from the book shelf. This time, I had a witness, because my daughter Brooke was with me as I went to the copy room and came back to find the misplaced garbage and book. I have to say I felt a little jittery the rest of the day.

When I told my colleagues in the next offices about my experience, they reminded me that I had likely had a paranormal experience a couple years ago on the fateful day I developed a fear of bathrooms. In fact, since that experience, I have much more empathy for people who suffer from phobias. My bathroom phobia is so bad that I always take my cell phone to the bathroom, and I am thinking about getting a Life Alert button to ward off any future bathroom calamities.

My brush with severe claustrophobia and deep humiliation came one day a couple years ago. I had popped a piece of pizza in the office microwave, so I decided to use the tiny little staff bathroom nearby, which I rarely use. When I tried to open the bathroom door, the knob wiggled but would not turn. I pushed, pulled, tugged, wiggled, and swore at it before it hit me that I was trapped in the bathroom. Fortunately, the Assistant Planner, Lana King, was making a cup of tea, and she heard me knocking on the door. Otherwise, it might have been quite some time before anyone heard me or discovered I was missing.

Lana went for help and came back with a posse. It happened that an important meeting was going on in the conference room, so soon the Sweet Grass County Sheriff, the Commissioners, and many other county officials congregated in the hallway outside the bathroom. Picking the lock did not work nor did the keys they found, which likely would not fit any lock in the building.

Sheriff Dan Tronrud's years of training kicked in. He quipped, "911. What is your emergency?" I can assure you he was not the only comedian on hand for the occasion. There seemed to be an entire hallway full of stand up comics. It is probably a good thing I could only hear part of their comments through the door, but there was an awful lot of muffled laughter outside. Later I would get to watch the 9 minutes of video filmed by Kandi Schuman from the extension office, so I did get to hear most of the jocularity that I could not hear over the pounding and prying on the doorknob.

Dan assured me, "We are highly trained professionals. Just relax." I think he added, "Maybe we should call the Fire Department!"

I think he was joking, but I said, "We don't want this on the scanner, in the sheriff's report, or on the Big Timber Buzz--right everyone?"

No one answered, but Planner Page Dringman who said, "Dan's taking his gun out. Stand back!" She is an attorney, so she probably figured I should be advised of the extreme peril I could be in if she were not joking.

An unidentified voice reassured me, "At least you have something to sit on."

Another added, "You have plenty of water, and you don't have to worry about having to go to the bathroom. Maybe we could slide a magazine under the door."

"How long do you think this is going to take? Do you think you could slide my pizza under the door?" I asked.

"What are you doing in there?" asked Commissioner Bill Wallace. "Do you have anything you could poke into the doorknob?"

"Uh no--do I look like McGyver? Speaking of television heroes, maybe you wise guys should go call Scorpion--you know, those geniuses that rescue people?"

"She's probably in there writing next week's column," suggested Extension Agent Marc King.

"Yes, and you're all going to be featured in it!" I cautioned them. "I hate to waste taxpayer money, so could you slide some work on my desk under the door? (I may or may not have said this, but it does sound dedicated and worthy of re-election, doesn't it?) By the way, do you think the county can afford a new door? If so, just get a chain saw and saw me out of here! Uh PLEASE!"

Instead they found a boulder in the alley and started beating on the doorknob. Marc found a hammer in his truck, and within minutes, springs and door parts were flying everywhere. Finally they succeeded in knocking the doorknob through the door, and I was finally free. The doorknob did not survive.

Unlike scenes on television where the rescued person is greeted by tears and hugs, I was greeted by giggles which turned to grumbles, because everyone had to return to work after the ten minute "bathroom break-in" was over. All I could think of to say was, "I have a whole new respect for burglars now!" Of course, my colleagues who believe that ghosts inhabit the annex were convinced that one of the ghosts locked me in the bathroom because up until the recent garbage incidents I have been a non-believer.

Later, when I called home to tell Remi about the extreme peril and possible paranormal experience I had survived, he said, "I am surprised I didn't get any calls from your colleagues or the ghost demanding a ransom. Good thing--cuz perishing in a bathroom would have been a terrible way to go!"

My featured cook this week is Ann Schenk of Roundup, Montana. Ann sent a Pepper Steak recipe that she called a great "company dish." Thanks, Ann!

Pepper Steak Rice:

1.5 lbs round steak cut into strips

1 T. paprika

2 cloves garlic, crushed

2 T. butter

1 C. sliced onions

2 green peppers, cut into strips

1 can tomato sauce

1 C. beef broth

1/4 C. water

3 T. cornstarch

2 T. soy sauce

3 C. cooked rice

Sprinkle steak with paprika and allow to stand while preparing other ingredients. Cook steak and garlic in butter until the steak is browned. Add onion and green pepper and cook until they are wilted. Add tomato sauce and broth, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes. Mix water, cornstarch, and soy sauce. Stir into steak mixture and stir until thickened. Serve with cooked rice.

Ann's Homemade Summer Sausage:

2 lbs. ground meat (beef or wild game)

1/4 t. salt

1/4 t. pepper

1/4 t. garlic salt

2 T. Tender Quick

1/4 t. onion powder

2 T. mustard seeds

Mix well. Refrigerate for 24 hours. Form into rolls approximately 8 inches long by 2 inches in diameter. Wrap in foil and poke about six holes in the foil with a fork. Place on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 1.5 hours. Slice when cool.

Quick n Easy Burger Casserole:

2 lb. ground beef

medium onion, minced

6 C. Rice Krispies cereal

2 cans Chicken with Rice soup

2 cans Cream of Mushroom soup

Mix all ingredients in a 9 X 13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.