Cooking in the West

Several years ago, we decided that ranching for fun and not profit was not really working for us, so we decided to lop off a few acres with a view up the creek and down the Yellowstone and make money the old fashioned way--selling the rural lifestyle to folks determined to get out of town and return to their agrarian roots. Believe me, providing that opportunity is easier said than done!

In the first year, we spent the $500.00 we had in our life savings account and a whole lot of the bank's money on surveying, consultant fees, fees that cover everything from fire to weeds to septic plans, and we smiled and nodded and signed where they told us as our consultant guided us through planning board final approval. Then we sat back and waited for power. First, we sent a check for $18,400.00 to Northwestern Energy for underground power to come a stone's throw from the neighboring property. Although we began the application process in July, the NWE account executive claimed it wintered up before they could get to it. Even though we had a signed contract, he sent our check back explaining that the subcontractor was taking the winter off, and we would have to wait until spring. He added that we might as well be earning interest on our money. (Apparently he skipped class at the Mickey Mouse School of Business on the day that the borrowed money interest graph was compared to the short term savings interest graph.)

With spring knocking on our door, we received a new contract in the mail from Northwestern Energy. The new contract said that it would cost $35,053.00 to provide electrical services. Now, if this was Northwestern Energy's idea of an early April Fool's joke, it was not very funny. We have a signed contract, which they breached! Unfortunately, this treatment did not surprise me coming from a company that ripped off all of its employees' retirement funds about 20 years ago. So we had to go to a David vs. Goliath battle in mediation to resolve the breach of contract. We agreed to split the difference and only pay $26,726.50 for power that was supposed to cost $18,400.00 just four months ago.

Our business plan for our subdivision went awry somewhere along the unethical path of the de-regulated utility company. Northwestern Energy would generate revenue forever from the customers in our little subdivision, yet they had the audacity to charge us an absurd price to run a trench and hook up a few cables with complete disregard for the fact that WE created a brand new customer base for THEM.

The topper was that we were supposed to get a rebate when new owners hooked on, but there was a fine print sunset clause in there, so we never sold any lots before the rebate period expired. Although we took our case to every commissioner, legislator, Governor, senator, representative, bureaucrat, and Public Service Commissioner we could find, we were stuck as victims of a utility company holding all the cards.

Ten years later, we have one lot left in our subdivision that let's just say did not prove as lucrative as we had hoped. I am proud to announce we have a new plan for selling the final lot. The inspiration for this plan came from Mr. Hainey on "Green Acres." Remember how he sold his less than desirable farm to Oliver and Lisa Douglas from New York City? In subsequent episodes, he was always stopping by to offer them a great deal on a tractor or cow or rooster.

Thus, I conceived the idea of selling a starter ranchette! Since we spent a lot of money and sleepless nights eventually paying Northwestern Energy, we need to maximize the value/price of our last lot. I think we can do this by forgetting about selling bare land and offering a complete starter unit. The "ranchette" will come complete with a cow, a horse, a goat, a sheep, a border collie, a few chickens, a pig, a dog house, a barn, a corral, and a tastefully done ranch style home with a large mud room. Heck, I will even throw in a straw stack, a three iron brand, some chicken feed, and an impressive log archway at the entrance. In addition, we have a line-up of potentially recyclable farm equipment that we will generously kick in to seal the deal.

In fact, I have started to screen starter stock for the ranchette. We haven't officially started calving yet, but one heifer who had an early calf tore the sliding door off the barn in an expression of gratitude for birthing help, so I believe she is a prime candidate for a starter cow. We have a couple old horses that just might make it through a few more winters if they are fed free choice soaked alfalfa cubes and supplements (a lot of supplements) while blanketed in a heated stall. My husband keeps threatening our dog with relocation, so I could "find a good home" for her, and I am sure I can round up the perfect starter goats, sheep, chickens, and pigs also.

If you have missed the point of this rambling rant, it is a warning to those considering subdividing, but more than that it is a shameless advertisement for our last building lot. If you have a need for a 5 acre lot or a starter ranchette up beautiful Lower Deer Creek southeast of Big Timber, Montana, call me!

My featured cook this week is Judy Cheetham of Redstone, MT. She wrote,"I enjoy your column in the WAR. It usually hits home! My great grandfather homesteaded here in 1900. We raised registered Herefords back in the days when Pat Goggins was auctioneering. Cloverdale Ranch is our home place. I am sharing a cookie recipe that everyone loves. I call it 'Bill’s Cookies' because our friend Bill was caught sneaking out of our house with one in each hand. He was reprimanded by his wife!" Thanks, Judy! I think I would steal those cookies myself!

Bill’s Crispy Oat Cookies:

Cream together:

1 C. butter or margarine-softened

1 C. vegetable oil (can sub coconut oil)

1 C sugar

Add 1 egg and 1 t. vanilla

Combine and add:

3.5 C. all purpose flour

1 t. baking soda

1 t. cream of tartar (don’t skip this)

1 t. salt

Stir in:

1 C. crisp rice cereal

1 C. Quick oats

1 C. flaked coconut

1 C. copped walnuts or pecans

Roll in 1” balls and flatten a little with a glass dipped in sugar. Bake on ungreased sheet at 350 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes. Leave cookies on pan a couple minutes to firm up. (This recipe is very forgiving, as you can substitute ingredients at your own risk.)

Pheasant

Cut the pheasant breast into strips and soak in milk or buttermilk overnight. Dredge in mixture of 1.5 C. flour and 1 pkg. of Zesty Italian dry dressing mix. Fry in butter and oil; sprinkle with Lawry's Seasoning Salt. Don’t overcook. Serve right away or put in a casserole in the oven on low for awhile. If it gets dry, drizzle a little cream or milk on top while baking, because the secret is to not let it get too dry.

Calico Beans

1 lb. ground beef

1/2 lb. bacon

1 onion, chopped

1 large can of pork & beans

1 can lima beans (optional) or black beans

1/2 C. brown sugar

1/2 C. ketchup

1 t. salt

1 t. mustard

2 t. vinegar

Brown hamburger and bacon. Combine with remaining ingredients. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hr. or so.

Jean noted, "I had another easy bean side dish at a family barbecue last June, and hubby loved it! Just combine a large can of pork & beans with a package of browned Jimmy Dean’s HOT breakfast sausage. Heat on the stove or grill."