HAT TIPS

Hello,

I’ve told you I’m not a real big football fan. I do enjoy the playoffs. It was fun seeing the Jaguars put forth a great effort against the New England Referees. And that’s all I’m going to say about that because I don’t want to incur a fine from the NFL.

And I guess there was another game after that. And that’s all I’m going to say about that because…Well, just because.

We watched those games at home. I’ve told you about how Shirley is about football. She was devastated when she found out the Minnesota Twins couldn’t go to the Super Bowl. And she struggles to sit through an entire game. Not unlike a lot of Viking fans yesterday. The Minneapolis Miracle seems so long ago now.

Anyway we had a couple friends over. Mike is a real football fanatic. He says he understands the many nuances of the game. I kind of doubt it. He didn’t know who Tom Brady was. Seriously. He claimed he really knows football. And he didn’t know who Tom Brady was.

Then in the second game, he kept asking me, “Which one are we?”

I said we are the white jerseys on defense.

Two minutes later he asks, “Which ones are we again?”

I explained that it depends on whether you are cheering for the Vikings or the Eagles. He didn’t understand that. Then I explained that the dark jerseys were on offense. And that they switched jerseys when the ball was turned over. He questioned that but trusted me. Did I tell you that there were adult beverages involved?

Enough of football talk.

We have another couple we are friends with. I’ll make up names. Let’s just call them Jim and Renae.

They are a nice couple. They have a nice house. They are successful business people. But recently they had a little problem.

Renae was shopping and inadvertently (she claims) shoplifted at the local grocery store. And she was caught.

When she went before the judge, the judge didn’t want to be too hard on her since she is well respected and it was her first offense.

“It says here you shoplifted a can of peaches. How many peaches were in the can,” the judge inquired?

“Six,” Renae replied.

“Well,” the judge said, “I’m going to sentence you to six days in jail.”

Jimmy, who was sitting in the back of the courtroom jumped to his feet and blurted out, “Your honor, she also stole a gallon can of peas!”

No Skol this week, Dean