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Next weekend, we will again be cooking for the Sons of Norway Christmas party. Although I have been doing it for several years, I still feel like a poser when I am cooking Norwegian food for a traditional dinner. Although it has not been confirmed by Ancestry.com, I have not one drop of Norwegian blood flowing through my veins even though I have lived in a Norwegian community for the past 41 years. When I was first hired to cook for the annual Norwegian Christmas party, several years ago, Carol O'Dell, the chief organizer,...
Every year right before Thanksgiving back when I was teaching English, I would ask all of my junior high students to write poems entitled, "I Am Thankful For..." I always modeled a few lines of an example poem for them, so with a very straight face I would write, "My two delightful children, Bret and Brooke." This line was easier to write without smirking if neither of them had been in the sheriff's report or the principal's office in the past week. Recently I was moaning about my failures as a parent/grandparent to my...
We have been enjoying a beautiful fall, but suddenly Mother Nature decided to turn on us with prolonged snow and cold these last couple weeks. We old timers well remember the horrible winter of 1978-79 which followed a really nice fall right up until November 9, 1978 when winter hit and did not leave until March 1979. As I sit in my warm house by the fireplace, I remember one particular hunting camp experience when winter hit with a vengeance before we were ready in the backcountry. Diary of a Hunting Camp Cook: Day #1: It...
We shipped our calves this week, which generated lots of material for a humor column because funny stuff happens when you combine a bunch of cattle and horses and cowboys and elk hunters and things that break down at inopportune times. But, somehow, when I sat down to write, another topic weighed in heavier. A look at the calendar reminded me that Veteran's Day is Friday, and my thoughts turned to veterans. One of those people we can always count on to help us work cattle is Casey Talkington, who did two tours in the sand....
I receive many submissions from readers, and I love to share them. However, in my 27 plus years of writing this column, I believe this is the funniest piece about shipping cattle any reader has ever sent me. Thanks, Tom Ogle of Paris, Illinois for making me laugh out loud! “MONTANA FLAT TIRES AND RATTLESNAKES by Tom Ogle On October 3, 2015 my dream of becoming "Tom Selleck in Montana" quickly became "Tom Ogle, just make it back to Paris Illinois.” I had flim-flammed a stay at a real working ranch through a friend of a cou...
There are many extraordinary people living in Melstone, Montana (population 126) including Sage Newman, who has a commanding lead in the 2022 PRCA Saddle bronc standings and J.R. Vezain, who has inspired millions with his mission entitled "Will To Walk" following the tragic bareback, bronc riding accident that paralyzed him in 2018. Another iconic Melstone resident, whom many readers have met in his 90 years as a beloved Melstone resident, Eric “Bud” Hjelvik joined the Lord and his wife Betty Lou on October 20, 2022. Bud was...
Although it has been a beautiful autumn, the "Old Farmer's Almanac" is predicting that winter is going to be rather old fashioned. Our High Plains region is going to be colder than normal, with the coldest periods in late November, early December, early and late January, and early and late February. Precipitation and snowfall will be above normal in the north and below normal in the south. The snowiest periods will be in mid- to late November, mid- to late January, and early February. Over on the western side of Montana in...
When Covid hit, we decided to stop offering working cattle ranch vacations, which means my summers have become much less hectic but also less entertaining on a daily basis. One of the best parts about entertaining guests is recounting the funny things that happen. Sometimes it is quite difficult to keep a straight face when guests say something in all sincerity that strikes my funny bone. For example, I was in Yellowstone with four guests from New York. One of the teenage girls did not bother to get out of the car to view a...
Since early season rifle has been going on for several weeks, there are some hard working mule packers pounding down the trail every day packing duffel, trophy horns, dead elk and deer, and most importantly food for hunters and hay for livestock. It might seem like a romantic occupation, but really it is pure hard heavy work that means long hours in the saddle and thus a lot of time to contemplate. My friend, Jerry Yoder, was the packer for most of the back country hunts and trips I cooked on for the K Lazy 3. He spent a lot...
This is the time of year when cattle producers are busy marketing their cattle. Although technology has opened up many more options for marketing cattle such as internet live auctions, internet static auctions, drone film, etc., it is kind of tragic that the days of showing the cattle buyer around the ranch are pretty much bygone. I wrote this poem years back when the day the buyer came to see the calves was a big event on the ranch, but it was inspired by Roundup, Montana veterinarian, Dr. Loren Appell who always prescribed...
Since I am about to retire from my County Superintendent of Schools position at the end of December, I am constantly receiving job offers from people who are concerned that I am going to be bored at home eating bon bons and watching daytime television. I think I will indulge in those activities for the first two days, and then I will start on a lot of projects that have been waiting for me for forty plus years. My colleagues in education feel strongly that I will miss my job and should sign up to substitute teach. I am...
When the bull elk starts to bugle and there is a chill in the morning air, I get really homesick for the smell of wood smoke coming from the cook tent. I spent most of two decades cooking in a hunting camp in the Scapegoat Wilderness for the Todd's K Lazy 3, and I have hundreds of great memories of those years. I retired from 25 years of teaching junior high English in the spring of 2006, and I did not start my County Superintendent of Schools position until January of 2007. I worked as a long term substitute teacher for the...
Everyone can remember where they were and what they were doing on September 11, 2001. I was ironing my shirt to wear to school that morning and feeding the kids their breakfast when on the radio it said that a plane had crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. In my mind, I envisioned a little airplane slamming into a big building killing the pilot and others onboard. As we hustled out the door to school, I did not have time to think much about it until I arrived at school and all of the staff members were...
For many years, my husband has been saying that he was not going to own a cow when he was 65 years old. His sixty-fifth birthday is looming up, and yet I have heard nothing about dispersing our cow herd. Of course, there are a couple auctions this week, but I don't think we could get them in and get trucks lined up that quickly, so I guess we are going to remain in the cow business after all. Still it is interesting to think about what our lives would be like without cows. As I thought about it, I came up with several life...
With the downturn in the economy, it is suddenly fashionable to be frugal. I grew up frugal, because my parents were 40 years old when they got around to having me, so they were children during the Great Depression. I think the definition of frugality has changed a lot as I watch college students head off to college this week. When I went off to college in the fall of 1977, I felt I was pretty well versed in frugality. However, my roommate was the undisputed Queen of Frugality. I can honestly say I could not have drawn a...
This week, I will go back to school for the fifty-eighth first day of school of my life, and it is bitter sweet that it will be my last first day of school. I am retiring this year after seventeen first days as a student, twenty-five first days as a teacher, and 16 first days as an administrator. My hat goes off to all the teachers and other working moms who must hit the ground running every day to keep all of the gears turning. I never had an opportunity to be a stay at home mom even though I think I would have loved it. We...
Over my years of writing this column, many people have told me that they have learned about ranching through reading my column. I laugh and explain that would likely be the equivalent of feeling that one could break a colt because he/she has watched RFDTV horse training shows. Although shows like "Yellowstone" glamorize ranching, there are a lot of ranching tasks that are not very glamorous. This column should effectively debunk the romantic portrayal of cattle ranching.. Megan Cremer, who is the sweetest cutest territory...
My best horse, Tinkerbelle, died the other day, and my heart is broken. I sat down to write a tribute poem to her, but it was still too soon, so I started horse shopping instead. I have bought many great horses for $500 to $1000 so it is really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I will have to spend more for a horse than we spent for our first house if I want to get a dead broke bombproof horse befitting my age group. Long ago I learned that I can no longer get bucked off. In fact, this guest column was written...
The 4-H Fair is this week in our county. I hope all moms and dads remember there is a fine line between extremely supportive and downright crazy! Having been a 4-H mom, I can tell you it is much less stressful to be a 4-H grandma! 4-H and FFA Fairs are a huge success every year due to the hard work of the Extension staff, the FFA advisors, the kids, the parents, the grandparents, and a lot of supportive volunteers. I must admit that I enjoy the fair more now than I used to when my kids were in 4-H. As a 4-H'er, I loved the...
I know many people are dealing with the tragic aftermath of unprecedented flooding along the Yellowstone river and many of its tributaries last month. I remember our experience with disaster agencies during our last flood in 2011. Fortunately, we were not negatively affected by flooding this year, but I remember well when our house was declared uninhabitable, and I was delighted and relieved, because it meant we would receive federal disaster aid! My heart goes out to all of the flood victims who will not be lucky enough to...
Western movies often portrayed the camp cook as a cranky drunk. I think this stereotype evolved for a darn good reason... they had to be cranky and/or drunk to survive! Camp cooking is such a fine and pleasant misery that I'd probably do it for free gratis just for the adventure. However, that does not prohibit me from complaining about the job--especially now that I have retired from wilderness camp cooking. The only job description for a back country camp cook I was ever given came from a packer/guide, whom I will refer to...
Since the 500 year flood we just experienced, most rivers and creeks are running high and muddy, which makes all of us happy--except those planning a fishing trip. These summers of social distancing made camping and fishing the ideal pastime, especially because the fly fisherman has been glamorized and romanticized almost as much as the Gary Cooper/Marlboro cowboy image. Movies like “A River Runs Through It” have made fly fishing a huge industry in our part of the country, and I am glad because it provides me with a lot of...
This is the time of year when I occasionally volunteer to do other's chores while they slip away for a day or two for a pre-haying vacation that usually lasts one day and involves a rodeo. Recently, we were tasked with taking care of our daughter's family's two dogs, two cats, 24 fish, 15 chickens, 4 ducks, and a gecko. We averaged one missing duck and one missing chicken per day, so we were really glad when they returned home to relieve us of a miserably failed duty as we had run out of ducks and were quickly running out of...
I have always been a Martha Stewart fan, which I believe I can admit now that she's been out of jail for a long time. I loved her shows and website, but as a backcountry cook I would like to see Martha pack everything in on mules and serve it in a swarm of horse flies. Just in case she wants to expand into the area of creative backcountry cookery, I have decided to share a few ideas that (exactly like Martha) I have stolen or concocted. First of all, outfitters in general do not like to pack squishy things like artichokes,...
When you live on a creek or a river, flooding is a springtime fear. It is ironic that we have prayed for rain since March, but now that the flooding has begun we are almost tempted to pause that prayer. Many areas of our state are still in severe drought, but we are under flood watches. The last major flood washed out our bridge, and we vowed we would move to Cohagen, Montana if it happened again. Fortunately for the residents of Cohagen our new bridge, which cost us and FEMA a lot of money, has held strong so far. It is not...
